So Hunter had a Bone Marrow Aspirate, a Bone Marrow Biopsy and a Spinal Tap earlier today. Wheeeeeew.........that's quite a big breakfast. Almost makes me want to throw up. But Hunter didn't..............so I guess I won't.
And so.....this is it.....................our last hope. If Hunter's marrow comes back with less than 20% Leukemia, we can move forward with the transplant, even with the odds not in our favor, (according to the stats......which we've now started to ignore). If his marrow comes back with MORE THAN 20% Leukemia.......then the doctors have stated that it wouldn't be ethical or in Hunter's best interest to go through with the transplant because the chances of it being successful and him surviving are slim to none. And the suffering would be unbearable.
We are super stressed, very nervous, kinda nauseous, and really, really, really want to see the results........but then again, NOT really.
The good news is that his spirits are super high and he was laughing and giggling and playing last night in his bed for the first time in almost 3 weeks. He's was down for the count for the last 18 days with a case of Typhlitis and also Myositis.....on top of getting slammed with super powerful chemo. But he is once again............coming out of the dark.
We've put a hold on the herbs for right now until we see what is going on in his body. He's still on multiple antibiotics and antifungals and continues to get food and fluid through his IV. Although he did finally eat about 10 pieces of Bananna Flakes today.......YAY!! Munch down little man! He's been getting transfused with Platelets and Red Blood Cells on a daily basis for the last 13 days, but he is off his oxygen which is FANTASTIC and we haven't had to hit his morphine button as regularly as we did before. We LOOOOOOVE THAT! Although dad and I might take a swig or two if we get the chance. I wouldn't mind being a little numb right now.
We've opted to only think of the best possible outcome. Whenever we think of anything else we fall apart. It's so incredibly painful and maddening when we truly face what is happening.
We actually attempted to go out for a meal two nights ago just to get out of the hospital and we hadn't even been there for 10 minutes before we started crying. We are constantly taking deep breaths and pushing demons out of our heads and out of our hearts. I've never been so challenged before in my life. Zen thought the hospital should have a button for parents to wear who have a child dealing with cancer so that people know not to ask us any personal questions...............it just opens up the floodgates. By now, we've pretty much broken down at the grocery, Costco........random restaurants .......the gas station, the post office, elevators..........you name it - we've cried there. And have no problem doing so. And even if we did...it wouldn't matter - because we no longer have any control when it hits us.
I've attached a link to the video of us getting ready for our procedures today. We walk down our hallway on the 10th floor of the hospital and go into a tiny, little room and they slowly put Hunter to sleep. And then there is a video after when they come get us and we pick up his little body and carry him back to our room. It's kinda sad..........but gives you an ideal of our life as it happens.
Putting Hunter to Sleep.
CLICK HERE FOR YOUTUBE VIDEO CLIP
The tear that flows down Hunter's face right before he falls asleep just wrecks my insides. There are no words to describe watching your child go through something like this. I find it so hard to believe that this is really happening sometimes. We're living a nightmare.
Getting Hunter after Procedure.
CLICK HERE FOR YOUTUBE VIDEO CLIP
This is a photo of Hunter's Myositis. His left thigh is extremely swollen and looks like a watermelon compared to his right thigh. Although his right thigh now currently has some swelling in it as well. It's apparently pretty painful and definitely makes Hunter NOT want to have to go through any diaper changes. He doesn't even like to be moved for that matter.
Here is Hunter on our way to his MRI before the Myositis was diagnosed.
And here he is........once again........being put to sleep.
Welcome to our life.
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