Well, I’ll have to say, I’m definitely in a daze today. In some ways this morning I feel like screaming my head off and in other ways, I want to be so incredibly grateful for Father’s day and the fact that we are blessed enough to even be able to celebrate this day.
Last night was rough. Hunter’s FOURTH pic-line had to be pulled. It was just placed on Wednesday, but apparently it’s not positioned correctly and it’s causing great discomfort and not doing its job. Needless to say, he’s NOT a happy camper. Because of the lesion in his brain and the infections in his body they need to deliver the antibiotics and the anti-fungals somehow. However, they’ve IV’d his entire body to death. He’s had them in both feet and both arms SEVERAL times. His little veins are exhausted. It took 4 different nurses and emergency IV technicians to try to find a vein that they could access. Well by midnight, they found none and stabbed Hunter with the needle three different times. Boy was he upset. Instead of his face being swollen from all the medicine going into his body, his poor little face was swollen from crying so hard and for so long. To be honest, it totally sucked and was terribly heartbreaking and I desperately want this lovely journey of ours to end.
Another IV technician is supposed to come up by 3pm today to magically find a vein to stick so that he can stay on his antibiotic schedule. He’s already missed two infusions. I am trying to remain positive and have full confidence that they’ll be able to do what they need to do, however, I saw them searching last night and there was nothing to be found. I often refer to Hunter as our little Super Hero, so maybe his miraculous little body grew some new veins overnight.
Actually, as I am typing, the nurse just came in and said we need to go to emergency for one of the IV technicians to try down there. Off we go.........
Well we are back. Several tears later – from Mom, Dad and Hunter. Although Hunter had it worse than us. They finally found a large vein in his foot to place an IV that would last longer than 24 hours. So in went the needle. Which is a total bummer, because yesterday was the first day that he had the desire to get up and start walking again. It’s been 19 days since he’s walked. Now, with the IV needle in his foot – he’s not walking anywhere.
Sometimes, I sincerely feel like I have nothing left and just wander through my day aimlessly. It’s not often, but those days are definitely remembered. Today is one of those days. While Hunter was screaming this morning, I had to keep telling myself to have strength. I was gritting my teeth so hard to try not to cry and it didn’t work. What we’ve been through is so exhausting on so many levels it can sometimes be unbearable. And I know right now my face and head hurt from crying and I feel like every time I’m about to open my mouth, nothing is going to come out but tears.
Hunter is with Grandma and Grandpa right now at the hospital and we are back at the house for a wedding meeting. Yes on a Sunday and yes on Father's Day. When we left he was in good spirits and sent us off with smiles as we walked out the door. He’s so incredibly awesome.
Everyone says goodbye as we leave. We aren’t referred to as Zen and Lenore at the hospital we are known as Hunter’s mom and Hunter’s dad…………..we couldn’t be more proud.
Happy Father’s day to Zen. Hunter absolutely adores him. He is doing an amazing job and is a wonderful role model and exhibits everything I’d like Hunter to be. Calm, cool and collected! Total stud. Hunter has a lifetime of Father’s Days to come and we can’t wait to spend every single one of them with him.
And Happy Father’s day to all of the other cherished father's out there, including my dad! Love you love you love you!
Hunter about to get his 4th and 5th poke from the IV technician.
Hunter and Zen on Father's Day.
Death of a Superhero
A Family's Story about Courage, Bravery and the Defining Moments of LOVE
Our sweet, lil' baby love lost his battle to AML Leukemia on March 8, 2010. We fought long, hard and very aggressively for 2.5 years, only to have his cancer come back for the fourth time to finally take his life. He was only 3 years old.
This entire blog is about Hunter's amazing journey. It's about his life and his love......his determination and his courage.......his absolutely, brilliant personality, and the affect he's had on people all over the world.
He's left an unimaginable footprint on this earth and has changed the lives of thousands of individuals. People who didn't realize how precious life was, now live it with extreme gratefulness. People who took every minute they get to spend with their children for granted, now savor every last second. And people who weren't quite sure what love is all about, now love deeper, love stronger and love with every ounce of their soul.
People all around the world have shared their love, their well wishes, their prayers and their inspiration, and we could have NEVER achieved as much as we did without them. We are humbled by their generosity & their true friendships & are forever grateful for every last person that has come into our lives through our experience with Hunter. He was our precious baby love who we loved and cherished with all our hearts and we are forever crushed and terribly, broken-hearted.
Dance in the clouds baby cakes. Mom & dad are watching proudly & you will remain so very close to our hearts for all of eternity.