tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76499243230683320002024-03-13T14:36:51.620-07:00Healing HunterLenorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09560305324604107601noreply@blogger.comBlogger125125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649924323068332000.post-80926364496320546502013-12-14T13:53:00.002-08:002013-12-14T19:52:30.753-08:00Healing Hunter Foundation<div style="text-align: center;">
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<i><b>What do you do when your amazing, </b></i><i><b>lil' love loses his battle to <span style="color: magenta;">Childhood Cancer</span>?</b></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(Hunter Zen)</span></div>
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<i><b>Gracefully pick yourself up. </b></i></div>
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<i><b>Courageously dust yourself off. </b></i></div>
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<i><b>Grab on to his dazzling lil' soul, </b></i><br />
<i><b>and start spreading the love, sweet <span style="color: magenta;">LOVE</span>.</b></i><br />
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<a href="http://healinghunterfoundation.blogspot.com/">HealingHunterFoundation.Org</a><br />
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<i>Give Some Love</i><br />
<i>Share Some Love</i><br />
<i>Feel Some Love</i><br />
<i>Live to LOVE</i></div>
Lenorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09560305324604107601noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649924323068332000.post-16368746279596713012012-03-17T22:57:00.005-07:002013-12-14T19:58:45.679-08:00Hunter's Angel Anniversary - March 8th<center style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
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<span style="font-size: 100%; font-style: italic;">Hunter Zen</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">One of the Coolest Lil' Dudes to Ever Walk the Planet.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">2006 - 2010</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 100%;">Hi my sweet lil’ sugar pie, </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 100%;">Your Angel Anniversary has become a day of smiles, a day of strength, and a day full of much love and compassion. You have brought out the very best in your dad and I and we sincerely thank you for continuing to be the magnificent and magical force that you are…it’s refreshing…and it definitely keeps us on our toes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 100%;">I can’t deny that I would still rather have you here on this earth, by my side, every single moment that passes. My heart still painfully stops when I think of what we’ve lost. But I will happily, and most lovingly, accept what you have become, what you have inspired, and what you have created. Your spectacular light is a force to be reckoned with. You’ve become an extremely powerful angel. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 100%;">We will always celebrate you and your life and every last bit of wonderfulness that you’ve brought into this world. Your divine guidance has been a blessing and I am eagerly awaiting your next sweet tickle to let me know what to do next…I’m sure it will be as cool as you. Blowing kisses to you and embracing your amazing, lil’ being…love you love you love you…mom.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">Kristen Davis to Hunter Zen</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 100%;">Two years ago today the angels asked you if you would come home and play with them. Your giggle, wiggle, and unbeatable coolness will never be replaced and always missed, and it has inspired so many people to do so many great things. We love deeper, laugh harder, and cherish those we love and the times we have so much more because of you. Xoxoxo</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 100%;">A few years ago, a little guy stole my heart and changed my life. Two years ago today, he took a little piece of it with him. I am celebrating my little buddy today, and every day. What an amazing life. Will be doing some wiggle dancing, and dispensing smooches in Hunter's memory today. He is still one of the brightest points in the sky. Rock on, Angel Hunter.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">Emily Perry Tresser</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 100%;">Three years ago, I found a family on Facebook through Matt Nolan. Good friends of his,who had a son battling AML leukemia. Most of you traveled with me on FB, during Hunter's journey. Today marks 2 years that he is gone. I can't even believe it. Lenore and Zen have done nothing but give back, in their time of grief and loss. I have learned so much from Lenore's strength as a mother, and Zen's love for Lenore and his family. I am so honored to call them my friends. Hunter brought so many people together.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 100%;">There just aren't words. Except that I miss that lil' guy, dancing on the counters, very very much. Thinking of you so much today, Zen. Lenore, spunky lil' brother Ryder, and my angel Hunter Zen Thawley.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 100%;">Give your kiddos a big hug today</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">Matt Nolan</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 100%;">We recognize today as the anniversary of Iron Hunter Zen Thawley, the sweetest, toughest, and most courageous Boy. He left the planet a few years ago, but whether you met him, followed his story, a piece of his shining spirit is smiling down on you today. We love you, Hunter!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">Jodi Fung</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 100%;">Hunter Zen Thawley - Two years a </span><span style="font-size: 100%; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;">GRADE A ANGEL</span></span><span style="font-size: 100%;">. If you followed his plight on Earth, he definitely touched you through the courageousness of his parents Lenore Davis and Zen Todd, and through their efforts the Healing Hunter Foundation was born to help other families fighting for earthly breaths. A shout out to you lovelies who make the world a better place! xo</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 100%;">Your beautiful smile and giggle echoed in our hearts all day today, and the outpouring of love and support for you lifted us up and, sweetly, carried us through. We were gliding on these wings made of pure strength and love, and are forever grateful for your life and the hearts that you captured along the way. You are rockin' the house indeed lil' love. So proud. So very, very proud :)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 100%;">Thank you EVERYONE for surrounding us with such delightful, love. Thank you, thank you, THANK you. Not a second goes by that I don't appreciate it, and I will hold it in my heart for many days to come :)</span></div>
Lenorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09560305324604107601noreply@blogger.com97tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649924323068332000.post-88170164124001577842011-09-14T10:19:00.000-07:002013-12-14T12:18:42.474-08:00Our lil' Birthday Boy<div>
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY my sweet lil' prince pie - our love for you runs so incredibly deep. Your dad and I are holding on to as many memories as possible and there will always, ALWAYS be a special place in our life for you. I won't let you go. I won't ever, ever, ever let you go. As painful as it is to accept the fact that you are not here for us to smooch from head to toe......we thank our lucky stars that you graced us with your amazing presence and taught us how to live; even when we thought every last bit of our being had given in. You kept us laughing; even when our smiles seemed lost and forgotten. And you've fully shown us how to love.....even though we've been left with a broken heart.</div>
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You were so easy to love........sweet dreams baby.</div>
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Hi my sweet lil' love..........i miss you.....i miss you......<i>I miss you</i>.........I miss you....so incredibly much. I am going to do my best to be strong and keep it together as I write you - but already, my face has an ocean of tears just streaming down it, collecting big, big puddles in my lap. The thought of actually seeing you and talking to you and holding you, oh goodness, it would be an absolute dream come true for me. </div>
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oh love.....I am still so incredibly devastated. I can't even think right now. My hands are shaking, my tears won't stop, my breath is gone. You not being here has shattered us. You were magical. Truly, truly magical and that just stops your dad and I dead in our tracks some days.</div>
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You have brought out such beauty in so many people - myself, your father and your lil' brother, Ryder, included. That magnificent sparkle that was so extremely bright while you where here - is still shining ever so lovely. I feel it within myself, and it's expressed in the love your dad and I have for each other, and the love that we have for Ryder. Ryder is the magnificent recipient of so much love and affection......and he just BEAMS every single day because of what your dad and I discovered in ourselves through you. You've created this love pocket in us that is just absolutely explosive. You still continue to bring out the best in us........that just warms my heart. </div>
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You would have been the most perfect older brother. Oh man - I could only <i>IMAGINE </i>how completely wonderful it would be if you were here. Ryder would have LOVED you. Absolutely, most definitely LOVED you. You would have been the coolest thing since sliced bread. You would have been so, so fun for him to follow around and tug on and watch and learn from.....so cool...so carefree....so courageous and loving. I honestly can't wait for the day when Ryder fully understands who you are and how important you are to the family. He's only 13 months right now.....so he's got a few months. He gets some things right now like "going outside" and "snack".....but not quite everything just yet. But soon. Soon, he'll get the full story of our lil' hero - Iron Hunter and how truly magnificent your lil' being really was....and still is. :)</div>
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<b>Here's Ryder trying on your Lightning McQueen hat and shoes. He clopped around the house in those for quite awhile....he's a big fan.</b></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EHs-T7RJPlk/TnjU7Zt7WTI/AAAAAAAAF-0/-iGQL2jrw6k/s1600/Ryder-and-Lightning-4607.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5654503449144547634" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EHs-T7RJPlk/TnjU7Zt7WTI/AAAAAAAAF-0/-iGQL2jrw6k/s400/Ryder-and-Lightning-4607.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 300px;" /></a><br />
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<b>Here he is wearing your Iron Hunter t-shirt. We all sport those QUITE often. They are super, super cozy and I'm just so proud of what is says........you were a real "Super Hero"......I love that.</b></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FWCF-9O2MCc/TnjU7EIId1I/AAAAAAAAF-s/JQp0rKs8GN8/s1600/Ryder%2Bin%2BIron%2BHunter%2B7948.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5654503443348879186" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FWCF-9O2MCc/TnjU7EIId1I/AAAAAAAAF-s/JQp0rKs8GN8/s400/Ryder%2Bin%2BIron%2BHunter%2B7948.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 267px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
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<b>You two look a lot alike - you can definitely tell you're brothers. Here is a collage that I put together of the two of you at 8 1/2 months. </b></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_fOC4OUGCeA/TnjU6lExzSI/AAAAAAAAF-c/IVW9tHE-y-Y/s1600/Hunter-and-Ryder-8-months-web.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5654503435013311778" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_fOC4OUGCeA/TnjU6lExzSI/AAAAAAAAF-c/IVW9tHE-y-Y/s400/Hunter-and-Ryder-8-months-web.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
Ryder loves, loves.....LOVES music. He's got a pretty fancy wiggle and also threw down some hip lil' side steps recently. Very surprised he pulled some of those moves out. You must have done a lil' work on him somehow. He's pretty cool. Plus he's a sweetie pie......you two together would have just taken turns melting my heart.</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-GWvReNHU3BI/TnnXfFBCN1I/AAAAAAAAGBs/j6g42I4MHQ8/s1600/Hunter%2BRyder.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5654787736062801746" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-GWvReNHU3BI/TnnXfFBCN1I/AAAAAAAAGBs/j6g42I4MHQ8/s400/Hunter%2BRyder.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 267px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a></div>
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<b>You both also have a very strong, cool confidence about you. So fun to watch and hang out with you guys. Always seem to have something going on.</b></div>
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Watching Ryder grow is reminding us of so many incredible moments we had with you. It's fun to compare and see the similarities as well as the differences. And thank goodness we have as many videos of you as we do! We feel so completely fortunate to have that many. Your personality just JUMPS right off the screen in every one and I just love, love, love watching you. They allow me to fully remember your giggle and your sweet, sweet ways of expressing yourself and all the fun we really did have.......despite all of our challenges. I don't think there was a day that went by that we didn't find something to giggle about........</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-q6sgN4ldGC4/TnmVcmTKXgI/AAAAAAAAGAk/GG2ywooZb04/s1600/healing_hunter_029.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5654715125690162690" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-q6sgN4ldGC4/TnmVcmTKXgI/AAAAAAAAGAk/GG2ywooZb04/s400/healing_hunter_029.JPG" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 267px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-sidohgsassk/TnmVcWT5PYI/AAAAAAAAGAU/uLNYZ8nu7Vk/s1600/a-mom-and-Hunter-2.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5654715121398267266" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-sidohgsassk/TnmVcWT5PYI/AAAAAAAAGAU/uLNYZ8nu7Vk/s400/a-mom-and-Hunter-2.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a></div>
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People from all over the world still continue to find your story and send us messages. They all begin with such wonderful comments about you and your beautiful energy and strength and courage. They talk about how many times throughout their day that they think of you, and how much you've inspired them. Of course they talk about what a great lil' dancer you were.....such FANTASTIC moves. I could beat music on pots and pans for you all day long. Oh you just stole my heart. I miss your hugs. Oh how I miss your hugs baby love.<br />
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A year and a half now that you've been gone and I still sleep with "Henwy" under my pillow....I still have a candle constantly lit for you......makes me feel like there is a happy, lil' spot of love-light continuing to just brighten up the room. I am never without my Hunter necklace.....it still gets smooched every night when I take it off and every morning when I put it on. There are beautiful images up of you pretty much everywhere - living room, family room, kitchen, dining room, our room, Ryder's room, my office, my closet.......and there isn't a second that passes that I don't consider ourselves lucky to have had such an amazing lil' boy in our lives.<br />
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Your Angel Anniversary was a very special day for us. Your dad and I took Ryder and we went back to our special lil' spot right next to the room we stayed in with you at Cannon Beach. We've been back there a few times now....it's a pretty amazing spot for us. As soon as my feet hit the sand I feel you......I will never, ever, ever forget that day on the beach. A day filled with such hope and love and happiness.........I enjoy remembering days and moments like the ones we had on that special day. That whole trip was amazing. </div>
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<b>Here you are walking in the sand........oh we had so much fun that day. You were walking around everywhere and I was getting such a kick out of finally having to chase you around! You gave me a run for my money that day. :) </b></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fV7TvKAoHGQ/TnknLndY2bI/AAAAAAAAF_I/W3WOZlI1Zn8/s1600/Hunter-Walk-4973.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5654593887664658866" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fV7TvKAoHGQ/TnknLndY2bI/AAAAAAAAF_I/W3WOZlI1Zn8/s400/Hunter-Walk-4973.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
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<b>Here we are below on your Angel Anniversary, a little over a year later.....walking in the sand......just like you. Even Ryder was doing it in Dad's Kangaroo pouch.</b></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dw3-2A4I4t8/TnknMBTiLRI/AAAAAAAAF_Y/pDxLkb3GKvs/s1600/Walk-Zen-Ryder-1617.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5654593894602648850" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dw3-2A4I4t8/TnknMBTiLRI/AAAAAAAAF_Y/pDxLkb3GKvs/s400/Walk-Zen-Ryder-1617.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-F_AaWpwjXIQ/TnknLwjssRI/AAAAAAAAF_Q/_rNNWBwZW-g/s1600/Walk-Lenore-1607.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5654593890107044114" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-F_AaWpwjXIQ/TnknLwjssRI/AAAAAAAAF_Q/_rNNWBwZW-g/s400/Walk-Lenore-1607.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
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<b>And of course "Henwy" had to get in the sand. Even when we travel he comes and sleeps under my pillow. He likes it there. I'm still waiting for you to come get him in my dreams. :)</b></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SpKaplblI-I/TnkoT2HJSVI/AAAAAAAAF_s/Rr9bYmhjqIU/s1600/Henwy-1603.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5654595128548477266" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SpKaplblI-I/TnkoT2HJSVI/AAAAAAAAF_s/Rr9bYmhjqIU/s400/Henwy-1603.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 300px;" /></a><br />
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<b>OH and I can't forget to tell you that we also saw this BEAUTIFUL rainbow right as we hit the clearing to the water. Stunning.....in was so, so cool love.</b></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Y6BSrSwEPik/TnkoThX1wxI/AAAAAAAAF_k/QhQq2edAd90/s1600/Rainbow-1591.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5654595122981356306" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Y6BSrSwEPik/TnkoThX1wxI/AAAAAAAAF_k/QhQq2edAd90/s400/Rainbow-1591.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
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<b>Geeeez.......and one more thing - we did our first <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Healing-Hunter-Foundation/137394376327675">Healing Hunter Foundation</a> Toy Drive on your Angel Anniversary and brought up over $5,000 worth of toys to the kids at Doernbechers, including an iPod Touch, a super fast big wheel, two laptop computers and OF COURSE - a kick-BUTT Lightning McQueen Tricycle that's got your name on it so everyone knows to speed around the hallways with lots of Lightning love.</b></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Sr8yKBsY6hg/TnmNFqOiaaI/AAAAAAAAGAI/IPirxTomb9Q/s1600/Toy%2BDrive.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5654705935514495394" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Sr8yKBsY6hg/TnmNFqOiaaI/AAAAAAAAGAI/IPirxTomb9Q/s400/Toy%2BDrive.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 304px;" /></a><br />
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So your foundation that we started on your behalf has been just absolutely wonderful. Aside from the toy drive we did on your Angel Anniversary we also stopped by on Easter and delivered tons of delicious goodies and yummy cupcakes - which is what initiated the whole start of "<a href="http://lightningcupcakes.blogspot.com/">Lightning Cupcakes</a>"......also in your honor of course. With all the love and support out there for you......it just TOOK OFF! And a lil' bit of Hunter love goes into every cupcake. So now you are in my heart, my thoughts, my smiles and my tummy often. I see your beautiful face constantly throughout my days and most times it makes me think super sweet thoughts. I try my hardest to think of you at your very best, having just the coolest time of your life.....I'm glad you had so many. It gives me lots of things to pull from. Man you were cool.</div>
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Below is the Easter Delivery to Doernbechers on behalf of the Healing Hunter Foundation!</span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rzI1xwTmXZc/TnmNFXH_zXI/AAAAAAAAGAA/59ewz0uyfLk/s1600/Healing%2BHunter%2BFoundation%2BEaster.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5654705930386787698" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rzI1xwTmXZc/TnmNFXH_zXI/AAAAAAAAGAA/59ewz0uyfLk/s400/Healing%2BHunter%2BFoundation%2BEaster.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 309px;" /></a><br />
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Oh and I almost forgot to tell you the COOLEST thing! You'll really like this.......we are delivering iPods to all the lil' warriors battling cancer up at Doernbechers on your birthday for the Healing Hunter iPod Birthday Bash that we created. We thought you'd get a kick out of giving such thoughtful, useful and amazing gifts that the kiddos can use while they are going through all their treatments. Several extremely generous and very loving individuals donated one to each kid fighting cancer in your honor. Pretty neat I'll have to say. You bring sweetness to the surface in lots and lots of people. Still continuing to make me proud. Aaaaahhhhh.......</div>
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Below are the iPods that were donated and then the AWESOME packaging we created for them!!</span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9pQe9Xlpdn8/Tnmh0u2rS-I/AAAAAAAAGBg/P1-cnqz6g7s/s1600/iPod%2BCollage.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5654728734442998754" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9pQe9Xlpdn8/Tnmh0u2rS-I/AAAAAAAAGBg/P1-cnqz6g7s/s400/iPod%2BCollage.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 320px;" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ghhJFUBxqH8/Tnmh0aloy9I/AAAAAAAAGBY/BOFEQSv24hs/s1600/Healing%2BHunter%2BiPod%2BBash%2BPackaging%2B8081.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5654728729002822610" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ghhJFUBxqH8/Tnmh0aloy9I/AAAAAAAAGBY/BOFEQSv24hs/s400/Healing%2BHunter%2BiPod%2BBash%2BPackaging%2B8081.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 267px;" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ez5kNeEsD8A/TnmfkxtzrVI/AAAAAAAAGBM/CHNuOtUXRGQ/s1600/Blowing-Candles-3.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5654726261309943122" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ez5kNeEsD8A/TnmfkxtzrVI/AAAAAAAAGBM/CHNuOtUXRGQ/s400/Blowing-Candles-3.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 346px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: #eeeeee; color: #37404e; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 18px;">Life seems to be one brilliant, sequence of events after another my lil’ love. And the time we had with you was nothing short of spectacular. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #37404e;">This magical, whirlwind of love that seems to corral around you and your legacy is just simply</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="color: #37404e; display: inline;"> amazing. I’m sitting here in a sweet, puddle of tears as I realize the size of the impact you’ve had on our life and so many others.</span></div>
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Your dazzling light, your love, your spirit…your joy, your giggle and your dynamite wiggle</div>
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continue to get delightfully, packaged up and delivered to the warriors that are still here fighting.</div>
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Our special lil’ packages that we deliver are always bursting with hope and smiles and lets these brave kiddos know that we are all standing behind them…supporting them, encouraging them and constantly cheering them on.</div>
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Thank you for continuing to be such a powerful force of love.</div>
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You are my Superhero.</div>
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Keep us strong, sugar pie.</div>
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LOVE you Bean!!!! XXOO</div>
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<a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/hunterlove" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">#HunterLove</a></div>
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<a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/livetolove" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">#LiveToLove</a></div>
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<a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/healinghunterfoundation" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">#HealingHunterFoundation</a></div>
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<a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/doernbecherchildrenshospital" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">#DoernbecherChildrensHospital</a></div>
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<a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/randallchildrenshospital" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; line-height: 18px; text-decoration: none;"></a><a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/randallchildrenshospital" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">#RandallChildrensHospital</a></div>
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Lenorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09560305324604107601noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649924323068332000.post-16591147672199551902011-03-31T13:08:00.000-07:002011-03-31T13:12:57.445-07:00The Nuts & Bolts.......and Truths<div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jkfVhPsKgIs/TYl2XvnLS-I/AAAAAAAAFVU/qv8IWKmPp7Y/s1600/Velvet-Angels-1557.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jkfVhPsKgIs/TYl2XvnLS-I/AAAAAAAAFVU/qv8IWKmPp7Y/s400/Velvet-Angels-1557.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5587126963019664354" /></a><b><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><i>Hunter's Ashes</i></b></span></div></b><div></div><div></div></div><div><br /></div><div>When I think about my life and the path that it has taken so far....I'm quite surprised. I never thought I'd be the tortured poet....writing and divulging and painfully expressing all of my agony and sadness.......trapped..... and now somewhat bi-polar.......and yet, here I am.</div><div><br /></div><div>Wow.</div><div><br /></div><div>This last year has been the most difficult year of my life. I've never been one to throw in the towel and call it quits or walk away with my tail between my legs - but the last 12 months have been excruciatingly painful and overwhelmingly sad for me. I've crumbled to the floor and sat in a pool of tears time and time and time again. Everything about my being has been slightly altered and it seems as if my body remains a jumbled up puzzle that is forever missing a piece.</div><div><br /></div><div>For full blog posting - visit Hunter's Mom and Dad's Blog:</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><a href="http://paincation.blogspot.com/">"Pain"cation</a></b></div><div><br /></div>Lenorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09560305324604107601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649924323068332000.post-76844264387492385412011-03-06T16:10:00.001-08:002011-03-16T23:39:36.354-07:00One Year...and still stumbling....<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MYpc65nZLAk/TXW8-Xlm8gI/AAAAAAAAFMw/CweW8rExdIQ/s1600/Hunter-4-pics.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 369px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MYpc65nZLAk/TXW8-Xlm8gI/AAAAAAAAFMw/CweW8rExdIQ/s400/Hunter-4-pics.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581575092865266178" /></a><br /><div><br /></div>Wow baby love. I can't believe it's been a year. I can't believe I have been without my sweet baby love for a whole year...........365 days. Three Hundred and sixty-five days too long. To think that I have the rest of my life to go, frightens me. I truly and honestly don't know how I am going to do it. Missing your love and your smiles makes me feel so incomplete. So incredibly "out of sorts". There is such a huge part of my being that has just transformed into something unrecognizable. I'm still so sad.....still so heartbroken......still so absolutely crushed that are you not here with us.<br /><br /><div>Your dad and I have been thinking about you like crazy. We watched video after video after video of you last night, and you continued to put on one stellar performance after another. You are SUCH an amazing lil' boy. I feel like I say it in every post, but I just can't say enough how very proud of you we are......your kindness, your laughter, your gregarious lil' personality - oh my......just so wonderful to watch. Such a sweetie.......really. </div><div><br /></div><div>I just popped in a disc that was labeled "Hunter"......within seconds, images of you started loading up one by one. I'm bombarded with so many thoughts and feelings and emotions all at once.....everything just seems so unbelievable. </div><div><br /></div><div>My first thought was "my goodness...you were just a baby". Just a baby when all this started. So tiny and so cool. Handling everything with such calmness. Took the punches as they came with such ease, while your dad and I felt each blow with an intensity that would leave us breathless for days.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Here you are waving about to go in for your very first Cat Scan.</b></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gAf8dtvOAXc/TXQmWSTTqkI/AAAAAAAAFJM/OZyREy2IYpE/s1600/Cat-Scan-Wave-0573.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gAf8dtvOAXc/TXQmWSTTqkI/AAAAAAAAFJM/OZyREy2IYpE/s400/Cat-Scan-Wave-0573.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581128002530683458" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>This was after your knee biopsy. You handled that like a champ. However, you weren't so fond of the cast after awhile. Dad finally cut it off when no one was looking and you were sure happy about that!</b></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SxNFbA-bZKg/TXQmWRy08OI/AAAAAAAAFJE/YEL6WsKLvmU/s1600/Cast-healing_hunter_009.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SxNFbA-bZKg/TXQmWRy08OI/AAAAAAAAFJE/YEL6WsKLvmU/s400/Cast-healing_hunter_009.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581128002394452194" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XmjqNDhhSVA/TXQmWJWrT5I/AAAAAAAAFI8/H8mtJVUKWYI/s1600/Hunter-and-Mom-0540.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 307px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XmjqNDhhSVA/TXQmWJWrT5I/AAAAAAAAFI8/H8mtJVUKWYI/s400/Hunter-and-Mom-0540.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581128000128896914" /></a><div><br /><div style="text-align: left;">Seeing these photos and looking back at our journey, having you in our life was so incredibly joyful. What you brought to our family was an energy that was so powerful. So pure and so full of courage.....so full of confidence.</div><div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sPpb12Yx4hk/TXU0jWW3VsI/AAAAAAAAFLM/CZ4PERt9fIw/s1600/Half-Smile-Relapse.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sPpb12Yx4hk/TXU0jWW3VsI/AAAAAAAAFLM/CZ4PERt9fIw/s400/Half-Smile-Relapse.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581425095097145026" /></a></div><div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CEMw0ZWwt34/TXUwlZ7knpI/AAAAAAAAFKk/-o_rBQC4Zv4/s1600/After-Surgery-Wife-Beater-2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CEMw0ZWwt34/TXUwlZ7knpI/AAAAAAAAFKk/-o_rBQC4Zv4/s400/After-Surgery-Wife-Beater-2.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581420732369641106" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zZHHRphmh38/TXUypo-0CtI/AAAAAAAAFK4/D1x-kiLPJo8/s1600/Chillin.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 398px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zZHHRphmh38/TXUypo-0CtI/AAAAAAAAFK4/D1x-kiLPJo8/s400/Chillin.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581423004152498898" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Vwm1iGi6a_s/TXVwZC_wptI/AAAAAAAAFLo/uJd5-T9vm0Y/s1600/Hunter-and-Mom-2-Pneumonia.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Vwm1iGi6a_s/TXVwZC_wptI/AAAAAAAAFLo/uJd5-T9vm0Y/s400/Hunter-and-Mom-2-Pneumonia.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581490888798938834" /></a><br /><br />This picture below made me smile....you are only about 15 months here........so serious. tee hee. Man did you ever love your DVD player. I think we ended up going through about 10 of those over 2 years. A few went overboard off the hospital bed, a few malfunctioned and a few just plain got burnt out. We must have watched "Cars" a million times......seriously. Lightning McQueen rules.</div><div><div><br /></div><div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3DJoGbUfhuc/TXQnr4gaVsI/AAAAAAAAFJo/8w4V8qUM0Bw/s1600/Dvd-healing_hunter_012.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3DJoGbUfhuc/TXQnr4gaVsI/AAAAAAAAFJo/8w4V8qUM0Bw/s400/Dvd-healing_hunter_012.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581129473075074754" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fbliCVRBNaQ/TXQnrpCxwuI/AAAAAAAAFJg/LLiIDPe1WDs/s1600/Close-to-DVD.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fbliCVRBNaQ/TXQnrpCxwuI/AAAAAAAAFJg/LLiIDPe1WDs/s400/Close-to-DVD.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581129468924248802" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DN0gP5Z9gQc/TXQnrf3qlcI/AAAAAAAAFJY/m4JlWbPaklw/s1600/Passed-out-on-DVD.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DN0gP5Z9gQc/TXQnrf3qlcI/AAAAAAAAFJY/m4JlWbPaklw/s400/Passed-out-on-DVD.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581129466461722050" /></a><br /></div><div><br />I am thinking about now how very grateful I am that we got to hang out every <i>single</i> day. We spent so much time together and it was always such a treat - good times and bad. You were such a magnificent play partner. I could always tell when you were starting to feel better and were ready to start having a good time.......you were pretty easy to read at that point and ALWAYS came up with creative outlets.<br /><br /></div><div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bbcvTlyyn64/TXQpPYZH0NI/AAAAAAAAFJ0/j1GCwxCzTXw/s1600/Hunter-with-Frog-0618.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bbcvTlyyn64/TXQpPYZH0NI/AAAAAAAAFJ0/j1GCwxCzTXw/s400/Hunter-with-Frog-0618.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581131182441484498" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6-CvxMdeeIU/TXUyIjkFsTI/AAAAAAAAFKw/j-GlLGQFmFc/s1600/Playing-0556.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 299px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6-CvxMdeeIU/TXUyIjkFsTI/AAAAAAAAFKw/j-GlLGQFmFc/s400/Playing-0556.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581422435762549042" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PjgxBBSNd_0/TXU0jgwZ39I/AAAAAAAAFLc/bUIoF-HBfqY/s1600/Sitz-Bath.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PjgxBBSNd_0/TXU0jgwZ39I/AAAAAAAAFLc/bUIoF-HBfqY/s400/Sitz-Bath.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581425097888620498" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-r9VL7XVVxbs/TXU0jmtRTbI/AAAAAAAAFLU/2mIzezg8Sco/s1600/Leukemia-Happy-Hunter.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-r9VL7XVVxbs/TXU0jmtRTbI/AAAAAAAAFLU/2mIzezg8Sco/s400/Leukemia-Happy-Hunter.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581425099486088626" /></a><br /><br /><center><b>And always such a good snuggler.</b></center><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FBWagt3hw_8/TXV4xKHl6cI/AAAAAAAAFMc/YPfbRTTn2H8/s1600/Doernbecher-Hunter-and-Dad-Sleeping.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FBWagt3hw_8/TXV4xKHl6cI/AAAAAAAAFMc/YPfbRTTn2H8/s400/Doernbecher-Hunter-and-Dad-Sleeping.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581500099120720322" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RgLBXn8n9Xs/TXUzAFibS5I/AAAAAAAAFLA/ho6eAJFbANQ/s1600/Doernbecher-Sneaking-a-Peak.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RgLBXn8n9Xs/TXUzAFibS5I/AAAAAAAAFLA/ho6eAJFbANQ/s400/Doernbecher-Sneaking-a-Peak.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581423389775186834" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b>I'm also coming across pics of your first mohawk. What a cutie. You sure knew how to rock<i> that</i> hairstyle. You were the cutest kid on the floor. </b></div><div><br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mfdYH2ZVMyI/TXQqSqH0kUI/AAAAAAAAFKA/j423OO0i8Go/s1600/Mohawk%2Bside%2Bview.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mfdYH2ZVMyI/TXQqSqH0kUI/AAAAAAAAFKA/j423OO0i8Go/s400/Mohawk%2Bside%2Bview.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581132338251993410" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b>And loved when pics of you on the slides came up. Those were your favorite. Hated swings.....loooooooooved slides!</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-371upbcruzw/TXV1N1p0wXI/AAAAAAAAFL8/OBrtU34e4B4/s1600/Slide-4271.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 262px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-371upbcruzw/TXV1N1p0wXI/AAAAAAAAFL8/OBrtU34e4B4/s400/Slide-4271.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581496193796850034" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><b><br /></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>This was you in Australia. You played for hours. Such a beautiful sight.</b></div><div><br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-i4zHnRgQ18g/TXV2yIXOtuI/AAAAAAAAFMQ/i2TlDFapsAA/s1600/Slide-5759.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-i4zHnRgQ18g/TXV2yIXOtuI/AAAAAAAAFMQ/i2TlDFapsAA/s400/Slide-5759.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581497916806051554" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Then I came across this pic. Made me chuckle. We always took advantage of laughter. You were always such a willing participant. Love you so much for that. Joy was brought to every occasion possible.</b></div><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-535y24MDFtU/TXQrmqdOOuI/AAAAAAAAFKM/_pEdKiVohdU/s1600/Giggle-0745.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-535y24MDFtU/TXQrmqdOOuI/AAAAAAAAFKM/_pEdKiVohdU/s400/Giggle-0745.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581133781450767074" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b>You just thought you were so funny calling the nurse here.......</b></div></div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OKfRnO9pvrk/TXUiL_15ouI/AAAAAAAAFKY/JZasOVIURX8/s1600/Calling-Nurse-Leukemia.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 180px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OKfRnO9pvrk/TXUiL_15ouI/AAAAAAAAFKY/JZasOVIURX8/s400/Calling-Nurse-Leukemia.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581404902707012322" /></a><br /><br /></div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>And of course a great giggle video. Here you are cracking up about to get a Spinal Tap........just so FULL of giggles.....non-stop. </b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><center></center></div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/DBPmoNLWJdA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">This video just makes me smile and smile and smile. You can see so much of your personality here.....</div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/CujZKeK4M-k" frameborder="0"></iframe></div><div><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Also found this video.......swept your dad and I away with laughter and tears. Wow did you know how to grove. Soooooo much fun to watch! Any kind of beat just took you away to another place. You felt music down to your wee lil'l bones. So soulful.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div> <center><div><b>Hunter Zen....unlike any other.</b></div><div><br /></div><div><iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/I7hGDW9traQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></div></center><br /><br /></div></div><br />Life is cruel,<br />life is kind,<br />It's stolen my happiness,<br />and left me behind.<br /><br />Constant effort to look up,<br />away from the floor,<br />in search of my smile,<br />to find it once more.<br /><br />It's buried within,<br />amongst wreckage and tears,<br />Not knowing if it will come out,<br />after facing my fears.<br /><br />It's definitely not the same,<br />nor will it ever be,<br />for he's left a tremendous footprint,<br />on my soul, that remains in me.<br /><br />Eventually.......he'll ignite a flame,<br />that will shine oh so bright,<br />and I'll treasure his life and love,<br />through me, I will shine his light.<br />(Hunter's Mom)<br /><br /></div><div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Your are brighter than ever baby love. Thank you for being the phenomenal child that you are. Love you so much.......<br />XoXo Mom and Dad</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><br /></b></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_JRWLR9lvWw/TXV1OOlPPgI/AAAAAAAAFME/Ijb8kZZnMuo/s1600/Zen-and-Hunter-5596.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_JRWLR9lvWw/TXV1OOlPPgI/AAAAAAAAFME/Ijb8kZZnMuo/s400/Zen-and-Hunter-5596.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581496200488500738" /></a><br /></div>Lenorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09560305324604107601noreply@blogger.com64tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649924323068332000.post-62907282299263093602010-11-12T11:34:00.000-08:002010-11-23T19:20:46.922-08:00Day at the Sea - Hunter's Song<center><object data="http://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/track=957477273/size=tall/bgcol=FFFFFF/linkcol=4285BB//" type="text/html" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" width="150" height="270"><param name="movie" value="http://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/track=957477273/size=tall/bgcol=FFFFFF/linkcol=4285BB//"><param name="quality" value="high" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><param name="allowNetworking" value="always" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><object data="http://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/track=957477273/size=tall/bgcol=FFFFFF/linkcol=4285BB//" type="text/html" width="150" height="270"></object></object></center><br /><br /><br /><center><span style="font-weight:bold;">Music Video: </span><br /><br /><object width="240" height="192"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/BkTRZMrAf6o?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/BkTRZMrAf6o?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="240" height="192"></embed></object></center><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/TOyD0lbcoRI/AAAAAAAAE8Y/oHi_0yPPnng/s1600/Buy-Song-Blue.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 124px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/TOyD0lbcoRI/AAAAAAAAE8Y/oHi_0yPPnng/s400/Buy-Song-Blue.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5542950180809908498" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">3 Options for purchasing this Cool song - support the FIGHT:<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">BandCamp:</span> (Name your own Price)<br /><a href="http://healinghunter.bandcamp.com/track/day-at-the-sea-hunters-song">http://healinghunter.bandcamp.com/track/day-at-the-sea-hunters-song</a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">iTunes:</span> (99 cents)<br /><a href="http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/day-at-the-sea-hunters-song/id399955953?i=399955957">http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/day-at-the-sea-hunters-song/id399955953?i=399955957<br /></a><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">cdBaby:</span> (99 cents)<br /><a href="http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/alexisharte1">http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/alexisharte1</a><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Love= Power, <br />Power = Strength, <br />Strength = Courage <br /><span style="font-style:italic;"></span></span><br />These children fight like hell, <br />and they're too cool to die. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Please share the song......Please share the love <span style="font-style:italic;"></span></span><br /><br />.....................................................................................................<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><center>How this beautiful Song came about:</center> <span style="font-style:italic;"></span></span><br /><br />A few months ago we were asked to write a song. This is not an unusual request, but it was the most difficult song we have ever written. It wasn’t just any song. It was a Song for Hunter. <br /><br />Hunter was a little boy who lost his battle with AML Leukemia on March 8th 2010. He was kind, brave and hilariously funny. He was only 3 1/2 years old. We never met Hunter, but we discovered his story through a friend of ours who introduced us to his parents’ blog that documented his journey. Reading about his courage and looking into his eyes though pictures, we realized that we had to do something. “Something” became a song in his honor. <br /><br />We first decided to write a song as a gift to his parents. But then we realized that we could do something bigger. We could help other children and their families who are battling this disease. So we decided to write a song that honored Hunter while raising money for leukemia research through the Healing Hunter Foundation. (www.healinghunter.com) <br /><br />Now we had a goal, but that didn’t make it any easier. How we could possibly write something meaningful enough to honor such an amazing boy? A very tall order indeed. After many weeks and many unfinished songs in the garbage, we finally found our inspiration. <br /><br />Inspiration came in the from of a little home video of Hunter and his parents at the beach, enjoying the sun, the breeze, and the crashing waves. Hunter was so happy, and his infectious smile and giggle brought us all the more close to him. How do we honor Hunter? The answer was simple…celebrate his life. <br /><br />And so, a “Day At The Sea” was born. It took us nearly 4 months to compose, record (including recording an amazing children choir), produce and mix the final version. <br /><br />We truly hope you enjoy the song and help us spread the word to raise money for much needed research. <br /><br />Thank You <br /><br />Alexis Harte <br />Simone Benyacar <br /><br />..................................................................... <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Please support the FIGHT:<span style="font-style:italic;"></span></span> <br /><br />100% of the proceeds go into the Healing Hunter Fund where they will be appropriately dispersed to the research efforts towards AML Leukemia, families touched by pediatric cancer, as well as to the organizations that so graciously helped, supported and encouraged us during Hunter's fight. We could not have done it without them and they will be forever appreciated. <br /><br />...................................................................... <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Song Lyrics<br /><br />Day at the Sea <span style="font-style:italic;"></span></span><br /><br />Do you remember? <br />how the sun <br />tried in vain <br />to warm the day? <br /><br />And how the salt wind <br />put a tangle in your hair, <br />your jet black hair. <br />We were the only ones there <br /><br />But as sure as gulls danced in the sky, <br />We saw your toothy smile and your laughing eyes <br />Day at the sea <br />and your love was a wave <br />crashing through my memory. <br /><br />Do you remember the shape of wind-filled sails, <br />castles built with pails. <br />Do you remember, the wind on the saw-grass hill <br />or how the world refused to stay sad, or still. <br /><br />But as sure as gulls danced in the sky, <br />We saw your toothy smile and your laughing eyes <br />Day at the Sea <br />your love was a wave <br />crashing through my memory. <br /><br />Day at the sea, <br />crashing through my memory. <br />your love was a wave <br /><br />X2 <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">ALEXIS HARTE:</span> <br />In addition to touring nationally and internationally (sharing bills with Cat Power, Taj Mahal, Ritchie Havens, Dar Williams and more), Alexis has had countless tracks placed in national television shows (ABC, PBS, WB, FOX, UPN). Alexis recently signed a multi-year music <br />co-publishing deal with Lionsgate Entertainment. (www.alexisharte.com) <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">SIMONE BENYACAR:</span> <br />In the last few years he has composed original music scores for advertising campaigns such as The Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers, Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire, Sin City, Apocalypto, Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix, and video games campaigns like Halo 2, and Call Of Duty II.Lenorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09560305324604107601noreply@blogger.com75tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649924323068332000.post-9461148714550796452010-04-20T14:07:00.000-07:002010-11-19T13:09:01.679-08:00Sunlit Memories.....Hunter's Tribute<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S9EgsQDa_LI/AAAAAAAAED8/0jH7YTc1c9E/s1600/23551_397461557256_589107256_4399949_5415716_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S9EgsQDa_LI/AAAAAAAAED8/0jH7YTc1c9E/s400/23551_397461557256_589107256_4399949_5415716_n.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5463183767572774066" /></a><br /><br />Zen and I share lots of laughs together. Laughter is a huge part of our lives, and without it, our world right now would be a much, much darker place. Almost like a silent hell. But I will have to say - that as much as we laugh..........we also cry. And cry hard and for long periods of time. Right now there seems to be a tolerable balance - but we are hoping for and will happily welcome the days when the crying is less and the laughter is more.<br /><br />As our days continue without Hunter.....so many memories enter into and out of our minds - constantly. He's all we think about, still, and we are trying to desperately sort through these memories to figure out which ones bring us peace and which ones bring us an overwhelming sadness. However, in the end, it seems as if all of them still bring us to our never ending flow of tears.<br /><br />Hunter's Memorial Celebrarion was full of these tears, but it was also full of an immeasurable amount of love, everlasting hope, and an abundance of inspiration. Arms were wrapped so tightly around us that day and the friendships and bonds that were shared brings the tiniest bit of light into Hunter's sad departure. The last thing we ever wanted to do is say goodbye to our lil' love. So you can imagine the pain and the extremely intense feelings that were all brought to the surface in an attempt to release our sweet, precious, baby boy out of our arms and into the sky.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; ">This was the opening performance at Hunter's Tribute. Ava's voice is truly phenomenal and she set the tone for a lovely and extremely heartfelt celebration.</span></div><br /><center>Ava Gaudet & Lucy Graves - This Woman's Work</center><br /><br /><center><object width="400" height="224"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="movie" value="http://www.facebook.com/v/1427623291610"><embed src="http://www.facebook.com/v/1427623291610" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="400" height="224"></embed></object></center><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>The following are Hunter's video slideshows that played during his celebration. This gives everyone a sense of how sweet and loving and endearing our amazing child was. He throws down wonderful belly giggles, insanely talented dance moves and a special love and kindness that is so terribly missed. We miss his winks, we miss him blowing us kisses, we miss his sweet smiles......we miss everything.......and always will. </i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><br /><br /><object width="426" height="256"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/q5NrwcXj3fE?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/q5NrwcXj3fE?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="426" height="256"></embed></object><br /><br /><object width="426" height="256"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/b1WJqQ6DRb8?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/b1WJqQ6DRb8?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="426" height="256"></embed></object><br /><br />Zen and I both had some words to share......but believe me......it was extremely difficult. It was almost as if once we said our goodbye - it became final. We got up on the platform, hand in hand, and thank goodness for that - because just knowing Zen was right behind me to catch me if I were to fall, gave me much comfort and handfuls of strength and courage. We are sincerely committed and forever devoted to each others healing - knowing what a long journey we have before us. To share the life that we've both now lived has bonded us together immensely, and in my heart, I know we will never part.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; ">Here are the few words that I managed to express......saying sweet dreams to my lil' love was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. </span></div><br /><center><object width="400" height="224"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="movie" value="http://www.facebook.com/v/1427892058329"><embed src="http://www.facebook.com/v/1427892058329" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="400" height="224"></embed></object></center><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">I have been trying to put this horrible emptiness into words and I'm failing terribly to come up with the right way to express the gut wrenching pain and intense feelings of loneliness and mental anguish that Zen and I are experiencing. I feel as if we've been violently thrown off a mountain top and we continue to fall without ever hitting the ground. So the sick and frightened and soul battering feeling in our hearts and in our stomachs just sits there all day long as we continue to fall further into the depths of our sorrow...........and we are assuming and have rightfully been told that this feeling never goes away........it just slightly dulls from time to time.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">We've lost our child. We've lost the bright and beautiful sunshine in our lives, the never ending happiness in our smiles, and the irreplaceable joy in our days. We are still stunned and still in disbelief that this was Hunter's ending. So very hard to comprehend.</span></span></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; ">Here is Zen's beautiful tribute to Hunter while also giving thanks to all those that have experienced our journey and cheered us on and encouraged us along the way. The road we've been walking the last 2 1/2 years is one we haven't wanted to walk alone.........and we are forever grateful for all those that have endured this heartbreaking time in our lives and have held on to us for dear life. </span></div><br /><center><object width="400" height="224"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="movie" value="http://www.facebook.com/v/1428607596217"><embed src="http://www.facebook.com/v/1428607596217" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="400" height="224"></embed></object></center><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>This is the photo slideshow that continually played at Hunter's Memorial Celebration. His face still continues to shine a light every time it hits the screen. (If the slideshow has already stopped playing by the time you make it down to this link, just refresh your screen and hit the "play" button at the bottom of the image if it doesn't start automatically).</i></b></div><br /><br /><center><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://picasaweb.google.com/s/c/bin/slideshow.swf" width="400" height="267" flashvars="host=picasaweb.google.com&hl=en_US&feat=flashalbum&RGB=0x000000&feed=http%3A%2F%2Fpicasaweb.google.com%2Fdata%2Ffeed%2Fapi%2Fuser%2Flenoredavis9%2Falbumid%2F5462729419102714129%3Falt%3Drss%26kind%3Dphoto%26hl%3Den_US" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></center><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; ">Here is a slideshow of Hunter's Memorial Celebration. The entire day was filled with amazing amounts of love and an overwhelming amount of compassion.</span></div><div><b><i><br /></i></b><br /><center><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://picasaweb.google.com/s/c/bin/slideshow.swf" width="400" height="267" flashvars="host=picasaweb.google.com&hl=en_US&feat=flashalbum&RGB=0x000000&feed=http%3A%2F%2Fpicasaweb.google.com%2Fdata%2Ffeed%2Fapi%2Fuser%2Flenoredavis9%2Falbumid%2F5462721893865927105%3Falt%3Drss%26kind%3Dphoto%26hl%3Den_US" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></center><br /></div><br />Not to mention the cake Rocked the house!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S9G96OuRYSI/AAAAAAAAEEI/33dSZFy6eIs/s1600/Lightning-Cake-0577.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 392px; height: 257px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S9G96OuRYSI/AAAAAAAAEEI/33dSZFy6eIs/s400/Lightning-Cake-0577.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5463356631059357986" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>This is the video of Hunter's Balloon Release. We thought he'd appreciate Lightening McQueen and Mater coming up for a visit. </i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>We sent them off with lots of smooches and buckets of love and warmth to sprinkle over him once they arrived. </i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><center><object width="400" height="224"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="movie" value="http://www.facebook.com/v/1429694503389"><embed src="http://www.facebook.com/v/1429694503389" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="400" height="224"></embed></object></center><br /><br /></i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>So our tribute to Hunter was, sincerely, a stellar day. It was truly unforgettable and will be held in the hearts of many as a wonderful and extremely well deserved celebration. The sun was shining and the tears were abundant, but the laughter and the love and the forever appreciation of his life, rose above all else.</i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>Like I said in my speech, Hunter will go down in the books as a wonderful, wonderful tragedy. He lives on and will continue to light the flames in our courageous spirits, our magnificent and brave attitudes, our fearless approaches to life and adversity and in our warm and loving souls. As his parents, we couldn't be more proud of what he accomplished, the love and affection that he expressed, the laughter that he shared and the never ending flow of happiness that will continue to embrace us until the day we die.</i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><br /></i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>"Rest in peace baby love. We will forever cherish you. You are truly a treasure and we will carry your beautiful spirit with us everywhere we go".</i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><br /></i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: 800; ">A few speeches from some of our amazing friends that have stood by our side every moment of every day.....laughing, crying, sharing and lovingly supporting.</span><br /><br /><center><object width="400" height="224"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="movie" value="http://www.facebook.com/v/1427704533641"><embed src="http://www.facebook.com/v/1427704533641" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="400" height="224"></embed></object></center><br /><br /><center><object width="400" height="224"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="movie" value="http://www.facebook.com/v/1427865417663"><embed src="http://www.facebook.com/v/1427865417663" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="400" height="224"></embed></object></center><br /><br /><center><object width="400" height="224"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="movie" value="http://www.facebook.com/v/1427746094680"><embed src="http://www.facebook.com/v/1427746094680" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="400" height="224"></embed></object></center><br /><br />Many, many thanks to all of the lovely guests that attended Hunter's celebration who graced us with their presence and showered us with love. Your kind words, generous feelings and heartfelt emotions that you shared with us got us through our day and will forever continue to do so.........thank you for following our journey and holding us so near and dear to your hearts. We truly feel the love.......all around us......always. </i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><br /></i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>Many thanks to Hunter's sponsors that hugged us to no end, including <a href="http://www.paulstanley.com/">Paul Stanley from KISS</a>, <a href="http://chazdean.com/">Chaz Dean</a>, <a href="http://www.aldabellascarpa.com/cart/">Aldabella Scarpa</a>, <a href="https://www.toporanch.com/">Topo Ranch Clothing</a> and many others.</i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><br /></i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>All of the wonderful donated services:</i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><br /></i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>A huge and loving "thank you" to Wendy of <a href="http://www.wendyparkerevents.com/events/">Wendy Parker Events</a> who coordinated an amazing event. Hunter's celebration was truly memorable and will rest so sweetly in our hearts for the rest of our lives.</i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><br /></i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>Another very full of love "thank you" to Allyson and the entire <a href="http://www.bobgail.com/">Bob Gail Special Events</a> family. They were essential in making the event as beautiful as it was.</i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><br /></i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>A very loving and appreciative "thank you" to <a href="http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/bio?section=resources/inside_station/newsteam&id=5744049">Marc and Diana Brown</a> for opening up their beautiful home and hosting Hunter's celebration. </i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><br /></i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>HUGE "kudos" to <a href="http://cakeartist.blogspot.com/">Dorie, our FANTASTIC cake lady</a>. The cake was just absolutely PERFECT and sooooooo delicious. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU.</i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><br /></i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>Sincere appreciation and love to <a href="http://www.argentum.com/2004/index.php">AJ from Argentum Photo Lab</a>. He printed and mounted all of Hunter's images that were on display. His smile and enthusiasm for life was felt in every room. </i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><br /></i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>A very heartfelt "thank you" to <a href="http://www.tomgalassi.com/">Tom Galassi </a>for photographing and capturing the event so wonderfully. We love you and your beautiful family dearly. Thank you for everything you've done for us and for every single smile you guys delivered to Hunter's face. He loved that train table and played with that til the very end.....such a wonderful and special gift. </i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><br /></i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>Buckets of love and appreciation to <a href="http://chazdean.com/">Chaz Dean</a> who arranged for the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Della_Reese">Della Reese</a> UP Choir to perform. Wow. Truly stunning. Thank you so much for such a lovely performance. </i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><br /></i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>Lots and lots and LOTS of love to Daphne for the delicious food from <a href="http://www.thepoint-la.com/">The Point</a>, Erin for the"Hunter" Balms, which are ALWAYS a huge hit, Jodi for the teas, Alicia for the sodas, Maury for the yummy wine and Ric for the beautiful sounds of music you played.....I could have listened to you all day......it was lovely. </i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><br /></i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>And lastly, thank you to our families. Thank you for your love, your compassion, your kindness, your generosity and for standing by our sides for the last 2 1/2 years. You are all so very important to us and to Hunter and you helped us in so many ways. A forever "thank you" full of such love and devotion from us to you.<br /><br /></i></b></div>Lenorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09560305324604107601noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649924323068332000.post-32895237912841864892010-04-20T13:44:00.000-07:002010-11-19T13:05:02.110-08:00Hunter Giggling Videos and Slideshows<div style="text-align: left;"><b>Hunter Video - Giggling and Dancing - Part 1 - Click to Play</b></div><br /><object width="320" height="256"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/q5NrwcXj3fE?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/q5NrwcXj3fE?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="320" height="256"></embed></object><br /><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; ">Hunter Video - Giggling and Dancing - Part 2 - Click to Play</span></div><div><br /><object width="320" height="256"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/b1WJqQ6DRb8?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/b1WJqQ6DRb8?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="320" height="256"></embed></object><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><b>Slideshows</b></div><div><br /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://picasaweb.google.com/s/c/bin/slideshow.swf" width="400" height="267" flashvars="host=picasaweb.google.com&hl=en_US&feat=flashalbum&RGB=0x000000&feed=http%3A%2F%2Fpicasaweb.google.com%2Fdata%2Ffeed%2Fapi%2Fuser%2Flenoredavis9%2Falbumid%2F5148924776906438145%3Falt%3Drss%26kind%3Dphoto%26hl%3Den_US" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed><br /><br /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://picasaweb.google.com/s/c/bin/slideshow.swf" width="400" height="267" flashvars="host=picasaweb.google.com&hl=en_US&feat=flashalbum&RGB=0x000000&feed=http%3A%2F%2Fpicasaweb.google.com%2Fdata%2Ffeed%2Fapi%2Fuser%2Flenoredavis9%2Falbumid%2F5312073177732961281%3Falt%3Drss%26kind%3Dphoto%26hl%3Den_US" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></div></div>Lenorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09560305324604107601noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649924323068332000.post-58315283321059023792010-03-16T11:54:00.001-07:002010-11-11T13:51:55.574-08:00Rainy Days of Sunshine<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S6-jrnHWFEI/AAAAAAAADkU/yU7XBTNBkaE/s1600/Sad-Me-BandW-6014.jpg" style="text-decoration: none;"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 272px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S6-jrnHWFEI/AAAAAAAADkU/yU7XBTNBkaE/s400/Sad-Me-BandW-6014.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453757643398452290" /></a><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><br /></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; ">Hunter’s death is killing me. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p>The extremely painful and heartfelt emotions that have overtaken my body are beyond human tolerance. These last 3 weeks have been pretty unbearable and quite surreal and I’m so, so devastated, and just can’t seem to find any peace yet in our tragic ending.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I hate it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I hate that he’s gone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I hate that I can’t touch his soft skin and smother him with love and sunshine all day long.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I have all this love that used to go to Hunter and now it’s just building up in my body causing an immeasurable amount of pain because he’s not here to give it to…………he’s so far away from me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I feel like he’s out there all alone………wondering where mom and dad are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Wondering why we are not by is side, right next to him – where we’ve always been.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Wondering why he’s been taken from us, when he did nothing wrong, in fact he did everything right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We’re supposed to be together, living this life out the way we had all imagined.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We were supposed to be rewarded for all of our hard work and dedication.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>That’s how it works.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>You give it your all, play from your heart, fight with everything you’ve got…….and you accomplish great things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Our victory has been brutally taken from us and we are laying here defeated with our mouths agape……….wondering why this happened to us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Wondering why this happened to Hunter. </span>Life used to be a little easier.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>And granted we were dealt a tough hand………but we were making it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We had Hunter, we had him with us, we were keeping him alive……….and that’s truly <i>ALL</i> that mattered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>That’s all we cared about. Life, all of a sudden, has become overwhelmingly sad and extremely more difficult to live.</o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Hunter’s love was truly magnificent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I crave it every morning I open my eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I lay in our bed for what seems like hours just hoping and wishing he was still there laying next to us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We absolutely adored him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He was a true delight in every sense of the word and his vibrant energy is so terribly missed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Our house is sad and lonely and his presence, strangely enough, is felt everywhere…….yet he’s no where to be found.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He’s unreachable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He’s only been gone three weeks and I feel as if it’s been a lifetime since I’ve held him and giggled with him and cuddled with him, sharing sweet and precious moments; moments that have now been stopped dead in their tracks.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; ">This is one of my favorite videos of Hunter. He was so full of life this day. It was my birthday and he was just so tickled to help me blow out the candles. We did it over and over and over. I can't watch this video yet without getting extremely sad and angry for what we've lost. He's our sweet baby love and deserved a much better life than the one he was given.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/J2F9lwjSF4A&hl=en_US&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/J2F9lwjSF4A&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /></p><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CC0000;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; ">More loving memories</span></div><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S6-pr04F6tI/AAAAAAAADkc/4BlRL2J37H0/s400/Beautiful-Smiles.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453764244162341586" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 303px; height: 400px; " /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><br /></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S7t8Wi0XitI/AAAAAAAADmM/BaZtquG46b8/s400/Bone-Marrow-Smiles.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5457092100234906322" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 140px; height: 400px; " /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><br /></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S7t8UwHJSYI/AAAAAAAADls/YdwAQT-W7Y4/s400/Monkey-Back-Pack-4.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5457092069443586434" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 267px; " /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><br /></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S7t9Aa1mo1I/AAAAAAAADmU/qM4VWp6j14U/s400/Cancer-Hunter-%26-Dad.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5457092819647112018" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b>Below are a couple of shots of Hunter's last amazing day. We were certain that he was healing because he was just so happy and active and enjoyed his day at the beach so very much. He struck a fever the day we got home and we were admitted into the hospital and 2 days later.......we were told that his cancer had returned for the fourth and final time. Complete shock and devastation. Just didn't seem possible. </b></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S6-yNVDcyUI/AAAAAAAADkk/OIDSUkU5OdQ/s400/Hunter-Piggy-Daddy.gif" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453773615828617538" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S6-2j4xYjXI/AAAAAAAADks/4Cp3lgUTHS8/s400/Mom-and-Hunter.gif" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453778401420152178" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 325px; " /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S7t7CXIgyaI/AAAAAAAADlk/p9Y2UUlwTG4/s400/Sandcastle.gif" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5457090653989161378" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px; " /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal">I feel as if my whole being right now is made up of glass and at any moment, with the right dreadful combination of thoughts, I could shatter into a million pieces and I won’t have the strength or desire to put myself back together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I won’t even know where all the pieces go since my heart and mind are so tangled and torn up inside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I feel as if I am constantly running from the memories of Hunter’s last three days alive because they are so painful to remember as a mother and every time I think of them – a terrible, terrible heartache and sadness take over my whole body and I start to drown in my deepest, darkest fears.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Fears that are now my reality.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Because of this, I can’t be left alone too long with my own thoughts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>They take me over and get a pretty powerful grasp on me………one that only Zen has been able to pull me out of.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I remember thinking and feeling and hoping that truly someday – everything was going to be <i>alright</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Now I know for sure that all of our days ahead will never truly be <i>“alright”</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We will never be “completely” happy knowing what was taken from us, knowing what we are missing out on……….knowing what Hunter went through just to be granted the chance to live.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>And then death comes along and just rips his life right out of our hands as if all of our efforts were for nothing.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I just can’t believe that this in now the life we’ve been left to live.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i>This video rips my heart out. It's Hunter's last video, Hunter's last words and Hunter's last wiggle. This is the day he died. When we woke that morning, he was basically suffocating and was unable to breath on his own. The leukemia had invaded his lungs and was taking over his entire body. We immediately hooked him up to his oxygen mask and pleaded for him to hang on. The doctors told us, based on his breathing pattern and the fact that he wasn't responding to anything, that his last breaths could possibly be sooner than later. We talked to him for hours as we held him close and tight in our arms, begging for him not to go, even though we knew it was clearly time. All of a sudden he woke and gave us his one last wiggle and one last smile. We got to hear his sweet voice say mom and dad one last time, he showed us his cars, asked for some juice and his cozy blanket.............and then he went to sleep.......and never woke up. </i></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">HUNTER'S LAST VIDEO</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br /><br /><object width="426" height="256"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/2WaO4AelaHc?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/2WaO4AelaHc?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="426" height="256"></embed></object> <br /><br /><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Hunter’s cancer actually showed it’s face in my dream the other night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>It’s the first time it’s made an appearance and the first time I was actually able to recognize it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I’ve seen shadows of it before……but never it’s face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I was terrified.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>It was creeping around a crowded room……unexpected and uninvited.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Possibly looking for me to wickedly laugh in my face, possibly looking for me to just let me know we’ve lost and to boast it’s victory.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Possibly looking for me to let me know that once it gets it’s hands on something……….it’s not letting go until it gets it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>My dreams are usually very vivid and real and I always wake up remembering them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I use to think that was a good thing when my dreams used to be joyful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>However, I could have done without that one and the many others that now seem to haunt my nights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>In my dreams now, Hunter is always dead or passing and I am unable do anything except sit there and hopelessly and helplessly watch it…………...not strong enough to kill what’s attacking him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Not powerful enough to take it down to it’s knees.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Not ferocious enough to let it know that what’s mine is mine and I will guard it with my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>But unfortunately, in this terrible dream, my hands went numb, my legs went limp and I was unable to move……….paralyzed with fear, knowing it’s going to take and take and take from me what is not rightfully his.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I am looking forward to when dreams like this stop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>It’s tough enough to deal with what I have to deal with when my eyes are open.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Please let me get some sort of peaceful rest when my eyes are shut.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I’m exhausted and feel as if I haven’t slept for the last 2 ½ years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I want the nightmares to go away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I want to see Hunter in my dreams alive and well………happy, smiling, giggling………enjoying the life he was supposed to live.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>That’s all I have left now……are my dreams.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S6-4YCuROgI/AAAAAAAADk8/xfS8wZbiLWA/s1600/Hunter-Pendant-6363.jpg"><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S6-4YCuROgI/AAAAAAAADk8/xfS8wZbiLWA/s400/Hunter-Pendant-6363.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453780396956269058" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px; " /></a></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div style="text-align: center; "><b><i>The pendant I now wear every day I wake. It's got a little piece of Hunter's soul and an over abundance of love from the bond the 3 of us created. I wear it close to my heart </i></b></div><div style="text-align: center; "><b><i>and will forever keep him with me.</i></b></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">Zen and I are in constant pain and some days just seem like a thick and murky fog.<span> </span>Even when the sun is shining……it feels like it’s raining.<span> </span>And on days when it seems like we are not crying on the outside……we are crying on the inside.<span> </span>It’s a mental battle like one we’ve never fought.<span> </span>Some days we feel like we are winning……..other days we are clearly losing.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">So here we are again – having to rise above yet another challenge that’s basically been harshly thrown in our face…….unwanted, undeserving……and now having to combat it with one less warrior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>It’s amazing how deep we have to continue to dig just to survive in this life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>It looks as if our true colors are going to have to shine again, and Zen and I will, <i>once again</i>, see what we are made of.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I guess this is where Hunter will deliver us <i>strength</i> and <i>courage</i> and <i>determination</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I guess this is where we look adversity in the face with a smile and let it know we won’t go down easy, just as Hunter did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I guess this is where we do our best to survive……..the only way we know how. ….with love and compassion and an understanding that life has dealt us a blow beyond belief…….a brutal and horrific blow which will beat us down and last our entire life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We’ve now been burdened with the sadness of grief.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We’ve now been burdened with the sadness of losing our only child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We’ve now been burdened with a lost love………that can never ever, ever be replaced or forgotten.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>And now we have to survive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We not only have to find a way to live without Hunter, but we have to find a way to live <i>WITH</i> Hunter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We have to find a way to live with his memories and his laughter and the joy he brought us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We have to find a way to cherish his being in a very positive and productive manner, even though what happened to him is so terribly tragic and will deliver a forever sadness that we’ll never be able to shake.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We have to lock up those memories of his last 3 days and not ignore them, but only access them when we feel the strength and power to do so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We can’t allow those 3 days to consume all of our precious memories. Amazing memories that we'll hold close in our hearts and minds every waking moment.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S7t6WkiCbQI/AAAAAAAADlc/F4k0FGMD_lU/s400/Hunter+Montage.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5457089901671640322" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 260px; " /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i>A wonderful photo montage created by a dear friend. </i></b></p><p class="MsoNormal">Zen and I are closer now then we’ve ever been.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He’s truly my best and most cherished friend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Our love has only gotten deeper and now exists on so many more levels.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The intensity I feel when he embraces me is sometimes overpowering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I truly feel Hunter between us and it’s when I feel his presence the strongest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>His brilliant smile and effervescent energy lit up our life and that’s what we are allowing to carry us through our darkest days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We created Hunter and we are now living this life walking the same path…..without him, with him, loving him, embracing him, cherishing him and remembering him for the wondrous soul he was.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#0000EE;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S7t5dK30l3I/AAAAAAAADlE/caJtvWD4Gzw/s400/Hunter-Sitting.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5457088915531143026" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 267px; height: 400px; " /></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S7t8VcUYDSI/AAAAAAAADl0/BPml1VvGFI0/s400/Awesome-Hunter.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5457092081310240034" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px; " /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal">We will continue to carry on Hunter’s legacy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We will continue to place his footprints on the hearts of all who hear about him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We will continue to change the lives of many more people walking this earth who weren’t quite sure what life and love are all about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He’s changed the lives of many.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He’s made people better parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He’s opened up the doors of love to so many children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He’s made people appreciate and embrace being alive.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S7t6AqNHJoI/AAAAAAAADlU/NgxDVYJ4vUg/s400/Engage-Hunter-air-2.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5457089525237360258" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 250px; height: 375px; " /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">We are now 5 months pregnant with our next son and are torn between anxiously awaiting his arrival and making sure enough time passes for us to truly have laid Hunter to rest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We’ll think of him every day for the rest of our existence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>It would be impossible not to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He’s our inspiration, he’s our love, he’s our brightest star that is now shining on us every moment he’s in our thoughts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Our weakness and vulnerability will soon turn into strength.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Our sadness and heartache will soon turn into courage and our pain and suffering will soon turn into the utmost determination to continue to live our life to the fullest, realizing how truly blessed we were to have Hunter in our life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He’s taught us and several others how to love stronger, love deeper and love with every ounce of your soul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>It delivers an unimaginable beauty that will enhance us for the rest of our lives.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S7t8WInXeTI/AAAAAAAADmE/5bwT2fDeovY/s400/Bone-Marrow-Flower.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5457092093201054002" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 267px; " /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><o:p>One of my favorite Dr. Seuss quotes that was posted recently, </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-large;">”Don’t be sad it’s over, be happy that it happened”.</span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i><b>A beautiful video tribute created by another amazing friend</b></i></p><p></p><b></b><br /><center><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/JrbxDBTSSMc&hl=en_US&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/JrbxDBTSSMc&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object></center>Lenorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09560305324604107601noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649924323068332000.post-38336507525546079992010-03-11T01:03:00.000-08:002010-03-16T11:55:11.055-07:00The Death of a Superhero<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S5woOA-qV0I/AAAAAAAADhc/B-eeuzOc2oc/s1600-h/Iron-Hunter.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 221px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S5woOA-qV0I/AAAAAAAADhc/B-eeuzOc2oc/s400/Iron-Hunter.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5448273870457558850" /></a><br /><div><br /></div><div>Our world as we know it has caved in..........caved in deep.......we are in a tunnel of darkness and it seems as if the healing white light is way out of our reach. In fact, it seems as if we'll <i>never</i> reach it.....it's going to be a slow motion chase that feels as if it will last forever. Our everlasting sorrow over these last few days has led us to believe that the days ahead of us look extremely painful, overwhelmingly fragile and completely unlivable.</div><div><br /></div><div>It wasn't supposed to happen this fast. We've clearly been blind sided by an evil that wasn't supposed to return. His life wasn't supposed to be taken in such a short amount of time. We knew the end was near.........but we didn't think it was breathing down our necks. We thought we'd have 1 to 6 months...........we were only given 3 weeks. </div><div><br /></div>I am not quite sure how or where to begin.........I don't know what is going to be too harsh to post. I don't how how much everyone can handle. It will truly damage your heart, it will definitely stick a dagger in your soul and it will forever change the way love and heartache rests in your minds. <div><br /></div><div>We witnessed our child dying.</div><div><br /></div><div>We saw and heard Hunter's last breaths.</div><div><br /></div><div>He was in our arms when his body went limp and his life force was taken. We've lost our little love..........forever. </div><div><br /></div><div>We begged and pleaded for him to hang on. I kept begging Zen to keep putting the oxygen mask back on his face. But he was already gone. I just kept thinking "c'mon baby, just breathe, c'mon love.........just a couple more breaths before you leave us........we just want one more smile, or one more giggle, just open your eyes......we just want to hear your voice.............one last time. Please don't go yet.......please don't go...".</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S5wwZXclKQI/AAAAAAAADhs/6at2l20Zpyg/s400/Revive-Sadness.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5448282861560211714" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 314px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>And all of a sudden - <b><i>our time was up. </i></b></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S5wwY_UWwpI/AAAAAAAADhk/CdfDcCiMpkw/s400/Hunter-Revive-Up-Close.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5448282855083262610" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#0000EE;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S52yYuTZacI/AAAAAAAADkM/MKigwLx94Ao/s400/Feetsies-5817.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5448707262004160962" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px; " /></span></span></div><div><br /></div><div>Zen and I have seen things in the last 6 days that no parent should ever have to lay their eyes upon. Brutal images are burned into our heads and our wonderful memories with Hunter now seem to be sprinkled with the devils dust. What happened to Hunter was very cruel. It's twisted, it's gut wrenching and it's truly just to unbearable to face.</div><div><br /></div><div>Hunter was taken by the angels at 11:25 pm on Monday, March 8th. They spread their wings, swooped down, lifted him up and carried him off. His beautiful soul was gone, his amazing and contagious giggle was no longer heard, his sweet and innocent being was no longer present and his heart that was so full of love and graciousness..........was no longer beating. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S5yGbEI5T2I/AAAAAAAADjM/Crf5Rt2_SLk/s400/Tex.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5448377448737099618" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>The coroner was ready to take him as soon as he passed - but we weren't quite ready to let him go just yet. We had a few more things to say to him, we had a few more snuggles to get in and we had lots more smooches to lay upon his precious little body. </div><div><br /></div><div>We laid with him, we whispered wonderful and encouraging and extremely thankful blessings into his ear. We let him know what an amazing child he was and that mom and dad are standing proudly by his side, cheering him on, wishing him the best and most deserved journey that he was so unfairly cheated out of here on this earth. </div><div><br /></div><div>We bathed his lifeless body and dressed him in his Iron Hunter Tee. We rocked him and comforted him and let him know that he will do nothing but rise above and put on stellar performances in his next life...........where his body will be healthy, vibrant and free and clear of all horrid diseases. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S5yAFU5XbHI/AAAAAAAADik/nURZtFnIsXQ/s400/Lovin-my-baby.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5448370478208478322" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 315px; height: 400px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S5yAF_v8-hI/AAAAAAAADi0/Kfx72ImfJiE/s400/Daddys-pain.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5448370489711720978" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 279px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S5yAFv1TdzI/AAAAAAAADis/hFehmGPXsXI/s400/My-Sweet-Love.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5448370485439199026" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div>The coroner arrived at 5:30am to take him away. The moment we had feared so intensely the last two 1/2 years of our life had finally arrived. We still weren't ready to have him depart from our life. It was amazing how I still wanted to fight for the right to keep him with us.......I didn't want to accept that the fight was over. We lost. And we are now another set of parents that are leaving the children's hospital, after a battle that lasted years.............without their child. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S5yFgJm3nwI/AAAAAAAADi8/hR2WYlmEhMs/s400/Sweet-Love-2.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5448376436592713474" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 341px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div>We were slowly escorted out, along with security, as we carried his body outside to be laid on the stretcher. Our hearts and minds couldn't really take in the reality that was playing out right before our eyes. We were about to lay our precious love into a body bag. </div><div><br /></div><div>It's an image that we will never forget. </div><div><br /></div><div>It's an image that I can't shake and it's a memory I didn't ever want. To carry the weight of that visual seems to bury me in a mound of sand until I am paralyzed and then it suffocates me to where I am constantly trying to catch my breath...........wanting so desperately to forget it. Our reality right now is truly devastating and it hurts so bad.........so bad. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S5yF7J6_-JI/AAAAAAAADjE/OCeJNY4mYcE/s400/Sleeping-Love.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5448376900533614738" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div>On the walk back to the empty hospital room - my legs wouldn't take any more steps and my body just gave in...........Zen caught me on my way down and we sobbed our most painful and hurtful tears and then he held me tight all the way back to the room. I vomited, we sobbed some more, we packed up our things and we left the room where our little love died.</div><div><br /></div><div>We laid Hunter to rest on Thursday, March 11th. Once again, we felt the need to see him one more time and let him know how much he was loved. Zen and I have never felt a love so fierce and so amazingly rewarding in our entire lives. We've never fought so hard for a love that should have survived. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S5yHhaouZoI/AAAAAAAADj8/d6smqw5bstM/s400/Laying-to-Rest.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5448378657367025282" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 328px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S5yHXcMzd4I/AAAAAAAADjs/nz_4jNKqaIs/s400/Mom-and-Dad.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5448378485988095874" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S5yHWyfZtUI/AAAAAAAADjk/w8Q0c1bLWsU/s400/Laying-to-Rest-2.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5448378474791810370" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 328px; height: 400px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div>Hunter was a true fighter. He embraced life every day as if there was nothing to lose and nothing to fear. He had no idea what was coming. He had no idea that death was waiting at the doorstep. We are forever grateful for that. He was such a sweet soul. He was so kind and so funny and so loving. He didn't deserve to live his last days afraid. And we feel extremely fortunate that he didn't. Such a brave and courageous little soul. </div><div><br /></div><div>Zen and I never knew how amazing love could be until we experienced the love of our child. Our hearts were consumed and full to the rim with love for Hunter. And now it's as if our hearts have died. We are standing here left by ourselves to scrape these badly beaten hearts off the ground and give them new life. And it seems impossible since our strongest life force is no longer with us. </div><div><br /></div><div>Hunter was the single greatest experience of our lives. We have no regrets. Not one. And despite the brutal challenges and despite the overwhelming amounts of pain and suffering........we graciously and gratefully lived our life for him........and we couldn't have asked for a better king.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S5yINeuM_0I/AAAAAAAADkE/OwqFE5aOdAA/s400/We-Love-You.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5448379414377987906" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S5yHV82JI-I/AAAAAAAADjU/Fn5K9-biIU0/s400/Lightning.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5448378460391678946" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 315px; height: 400px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div>Hunter.......our dear, sweet, precious love.......may you rest in peace with an over abundance of love, light and smiles. Know that you've changed the lives of many and have left the most wonderful and inspiring footprint that could have ever been imagined. Mom and dad will never do anything except embrace your wonderful being and carry you with us for all of eternity. You've enhanced our life, you've enhanced our love, you've enhanced our spirits. You've made us whole and you will live on in us forever. With so much love and tenderness, mom and dad.</div><div><br /></div><div> </div>Lenorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09560305324604107601noreply@blogger.com99tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649924323068332000.post-15800270703649075702010-03-01T12:01:00.000-08:002010-03-05T13:39:29.335-08:00Our little love is dying........<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S4wjG4Hp09I/AAAAAAAADhE/99mA0qXHkwU/s1600-h/No-Hose2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 315px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S4wjG4Hp09I/AAAAAAAADhE/99mA0qXHkwU/s400/No-Hose2.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5443764650634761170" /></a><br /><div>and it's happening right before our very eyes.</div><div><br /></div><div>It's the most horrific torture we've ever had to face and we feel as if we are in a very, very sad hell right now. I, personally, can't seem to get a grasp on the pain. It's so completely unbearable and it's cutting so deep right now........every waking moment I am hurting and aching and in just plain agony. It's like constantly being punched in the stomach with steel fists. Our heads feel as if they've been slammed with a wrecking ball for the last 21 days. And our hearts are being stomped on with absolutely no mercy. I am so, so sad for Hunter. I am devastated and crushed that his beautiful life is brutally ending like this...........I honestly believed he was going to make it. I truly, truly did. I didn't think for a second that he wasn't going to champion his way through this and come out on top with an amazing victory. I am in shock. I am stunned. I am completely numb and I can't seem to think straight on most days. I sit on the floor in the shower and sob and just let the water wash away all my tears. I cry when I am pouring coffee, I cry when I look at his beautiful face, I cry before we go to sleep, and I cry when we wake up. Our life is so sad right now and I don't see how we are expected to recover from this. I feel as if we will be spiritually and emotionally wrecked for years to come, if not for the rest of our life.</div><div><br /></div><div>We are not sleeping too well. Between handling Hunter's needs, battling our daily sadness and continuing to try to enjoy every moment that he is awake.........sleep doesn't seem to come into play. Whenever we do fall asleep.........Hunter enters all of our dreams. Sometimes he's healthy, most times he's sick. The other night in my sleep, we somehow had his precious little body and soul tucked away tight in one of his Lightning Mcqueen suitcases that he always carries around. We dropped it off a bridge into a beautiful waterfall and the immediate silence was deafening. I screamed and cried and fell to my knees and wanted him back so desperately. It was so completely horrifying and final..........amazingly unbearable and so terribly, terribly tragic. </div><div><br /></div><div>Hunter, due to round the clock pain meds and just plain being exhausted, seems to sleep a good bit these days, which is what leaves us plenty of time for crying. This last week, he seemed to take a turn for the worse and we've just found out today that he has a pretty severe pneumonia . We've been pumping his body up with herbs and fresh vegetable juices in addition to all his other meds trying desperately to keep his cancer at bay. But it's just too strong. We've managed to get the cancerous cells that have invaded his blood stream down a little - but his body is clearly under attack. He feels his body deteriorating and gets extremely upset when he tries to get up or walk or play. The cancer has taken so much from him...........it's taken so much from US.</div><div><br /></div><div>Many people who have been through losing a child with cancer have told us to brace ourselves. It's an unbelievable journey and something that we'll carry with us for all of our days to come. The suffering will never be forgotten and the pain will never subside. Zen and I are holding on to each other with everything we've got and are too afraid to let one another go........fearing one of us will fall.........and never get back up. </div><div><br /></div><div>Many other amazing people have offered to take some of our pain away - if it was at all possible........and I swear to god....I wish they could. Some days the pain and heartache are so incredibly heavy.....I feel as if I can't breathe, let alone get up and try to put one foot in front of the other. My feet feel like bricks.</div><div><br /></div><div>Hunter is our sunshine. He is our beautiful shining star that beams and brightens every single one of our days. He's our little love that we have held on a pedestal now for 3 years and we are so proud of him and how he's handled what he's had to endure. We're not ready to let go...........we won't ever be.........we don't want to and we are holding on to him right now with all of our might. Sadly enough, whoever it is - is going to have to forcefully, yet gracefully, pry him out of our arms when that dreadful moment comes.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S4wmZrTDmLI/AAAAAAAADhM/tHUg2cOuFoc/s400/Hugs-2.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5443768272145324210" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 360px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S5Fyq6LSdwI/AAAAAAAADhU/q6-jLqvPVQ4/s400/Smiles-and-Love.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5445259505964316418" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 272px; height: 400px; " /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;">We love you baby.</div>Lenorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09560305324604107601noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649924323068332000.post-56944220098933242102010-02-14T14:52:00.000-08:002010-02-21T19:19:01.601-08:00Living life on the edge of fear....<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S39WSljxu_I/AAAAAAAADgA/VdeDLcPk0Kw/s1600-h/Shadow-Stand.gif"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S39WSljxu_I/AAAAAAAADgA/VdeDLcPk0Kw/s400/Shadow-Stand.gif" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5440161752206654450" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>......and finally feeling the desire to jump off.<div><br /></div><div><div>Our worst nightmares are surfacing. Our hearts and souls and minds and bodies have been tortured beyond belief......and the worst is still yet to come.</div><div><br /></div><div>Hunter's cancer has returned for a fourth time and we are out of ammunition. His little body has seen every type of chemo, including experimental chemo's and the most potent combinations of other chemo's, and the disease doesn't seem to want to stay away. He has been through 9 rounds of chemo, full body radiation and a bone marrow transplant.........and we are officially at the end of the road. There is nothing left that we can do to save his life. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S39bNXLnT3I/AAAAAAAADgI/bdpXjSeaAjU/s400/Lovin-Dad.gif" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5440167160006004594" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div>And because this ferocious cancer won't leave his body, our most beloved and treasured gift in the whole world will soon be taken away from us. Just like that. After 2 1/2 years of battling this horrific, beastly disease - it's finally going to win. Zen and I have never felt so defeated and hopeless and broken in our entire lives. We gave up everything for Hunter and his fight. We stayed positive, we defied all odds, we loved him more than life itself.....and we are still being denied the right to keep our child. I can't even begin to explain what this is doing to us mentally. To know that we only have a limited time left with Hunter and then we will soon have to witness his beautiful spirit and amazing soul slowly leave his body is beyond comprehension. To know that the beast is just waiting at the door......with a grin on his face........and we have no power whatsoever to keep him out.....it's maddening and frightening and so, so, so incredibly heart wrenching and sad. Every single moment that we are not with Hunter, which is only when he is sleeping, we are falling apart. This is truly a tragic ending to such an incredible and heroic fight.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S39b9ZDjlkI/AAAAAAAADgQ/xwZgBIt4hEQ/s400/Dad-and-Hunter-Walking.gif" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5440167985142797890" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div>To speak for myself......even though I know Zen is feeling much of the same emotions, I feel completely lost. My hope has been beaten into the ground. I feel as if I no longer believe in miracles and I no longer believe that love conquers all. The wind has been taken out of my sails, the carpet has been forcefully and viciously pulled from underneath me and the brick has officially slammed me in the face - like I've never experienced before. And every five minutes - that brick continues to slam me in the face, harder and harder than the blows before. I feel dark and hollow. I feel a terrible bitterness and an unexplainable anger. I feel wrecked and extremely, emotionally distraught, and I am so, so, so heartbroken. </div><div><br /></div><div>To know that I will soon no longer be able to hold him, or see his beautiful smiling face or hear his soft, precious voice, or caress his cherished little body is making me go insane. I wanted him with me forever. I wanted to see him grow into the amazing young man he has proven himself to be. I wanted to continue to shower him with love and warmth and tenderness the way we have in the short time that he's been alive. I so, so desperately want to keep him. </div><div><br /></div><div>He is sleeping right now as I type and I am sitting here sobbing. Every so often, I feel as if it just can't be real......that it's just not happening. That this is just one big misunderstanding and we are, in fact, going to be rewarded for all of the pain and suffering and sadness that we've had to endure over the last 30 months. But, it's real. It's as real and as horrific as it gets. We STILL have him in our life right now and the pain is so completely excruciating. I can't imagine what it's going to be like when he is really gone. I have to grasp onto things now as I walk just to keep from collapsing..............I can't even fathom what's to come.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S39c_5teRHI/AAAAAAAADgY/SMGIsMuuT-c/s400/Hunter-Piggy-Mom.gif" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5440169127779910770" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div>With all of that said - we are continuing to love on Hunter like never before. We are drowning him in kisses and holding him and squeezing him tight every single second we get. I tickle and smooch his tiny, little toes constantly. I look him deep into his eyes and make sure that he understands when I tell him that mom and dad love him so deeply and that we will ALWAYS be with him, loving him, cherishing him and applauding his amazing and courageous efforts.....wherever he is. We try to get him to smile as many times as we possibly can and are constantly figuring out ways to make his time left the most enjoyable and the most memorable......for all of us.</div><div><br /></div><div>I guess I should take back the fact that I no longer believe in miracles. The fact that we had Hunter in our life for as long as we did was a miracle in itself. Zen has said several times and I definitely agree........We wouldn't take our time with Hunter back. He has made us better people, he has shown us love that is so deep and so fulfilling and so completely rewarding. He's made us stronger individuals and he's brought immeasurable joy into our lives. Joy that we would have never experienced without him. He has truly made our lives worth living. Zen has also reminded me that this time that we have left with him is a gift. A beautiful, beautiful gift. We know that the end is near and we now get to cherish him with every ounce of our souls.</div><div><br /></div><div>We have an everlasting love for him that we will carry with us every single moment of every hour of every day. And when Hunter dies........a huge part of Zen and I will die with him. It will be a long time before I can look at his sweet face in photos or watch his videos and not crumble. It will be a long time before his sweet voice in my head will not bring tears to my eyes that will probably flow for days. It will be a long time before I can hear his little footsteps throughout the house and not want to follow them to wherever they lead with hopes that he'll be there smiling and laughing once I reach him. He will go pitter patter on my heart for days and months and years to come, and with each tap I will feel pain. But we've been told before and reminded often that no one cries forever. The amazing amounts of love that we graced upon Hunter and the buckets and buckets of love that I truly believed would conquer Hunter's cancer........will now have to conquer mine and Zen's devastation and pain and give us the strength we will need to press on. Our love is all we have left. Hunter is a legend and is and always will be an inspiration to thousands of people and he will live on in so many peoples hearts. He's a true champion and has shown us all how to live. Live strong, live fearlessly and live with a passion.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S39f95pk-eI/AAAAAAAADgg/85DREqS0J-k/s400/The-walk.gif" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5440172391938718178" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 241px; " /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#0000EE;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#0000EE;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S39gwhZFNcI/AAAAAAAADgw/ZKboCnH4yJA/s400/Silhouette-Hunter.gif" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5440173261600404930" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></span></span></div><div><br /></div></div>Lenorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09560305324604107601noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649924323068332000.post-83712800245131692162010-01-04T16:20:00.001-08:002010-01-05T03:00:53.612-08:00Teardrops and Smiles<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S0Kpkbh_aWI/AAAAAAAADfI/cR-0-9DlPI0/s1600-h/New-Years-2010.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 353px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S0Kpkbh_aWI/AAAAAAAADfI/cR-0-9DlPI0/s400/New-Years-2010.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5423083344638208354" /></a><br /><div><br /></div>My brutal honesty, Hunter's life on the line and our profound positive perspective is what has lead thousands of people to follow our life, Hunter's journey and our will to keep our most cherished love alive. <div><br /></div><div>Well, I have to say, that by now - I feel as if I've been staring a demon in the face for far too long..........and in my heart, I desperately want it to be over, but, in my mind, I know it will never be over. For anyone..........that's an incredibly tough life pill to swallow.</div><div><br /></div><div>So once again, I am laying out our life on paper, in hopes of some relief, in hopes of some justification..............in hopes of some further understanding of what a terrible, terrible beast we are having to continue to fight, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.</div><div><br /></div><div>They say that 60% of our bodies are made up of water. I had no idea that my 60% would be made mostly of tears. Tears of hope, tears of sadness, tears of joy, tears of pain. I will not deny that if I could choose a different path for our son - I would. In a heartbeat. With <i>MY</i> heartbeat. This potentially deadly hand he's been dealt is far from desirable. With that in mind, I feel as if there are <i>tears</i> that need to be acknowledged, <i>tears</i> that need to be embraced, <i>tears</i> that need to be addressed and <i>tears</i> that need to be forgotten. </div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">**********</div><div><br /></div><div>A <i>Teardrop</i> falls down my face for our life and for our uncertain future with what we feel is the most precious blessing that has ever been bestowed upon us. As I've said before, and have sadly witnessed, happiness can be granted and happiness can be easily taken away.</div><div><br /></div><div>A <i>Teardrop</i> falls down my face for the cherished, childhood moments that have been stolen from us that can never, ever, <i>ever</i> be replaced.</div><div><br /></div><div>Many <i>Teardrops</i> fall down my face for the pain we've had to witness Hunter endure in the short time he's been alive. The number of times I've held him in my arms, wondering how much more I could take.........is countless.</div><div><br /></div><div><i>Teardrops</i> fall down my face for the mere thought of losing our son, day after day after day after day.</div><div><br /></div><div>A few <i>Teardrops</i> fall down my face for the fleeting feelings of anger I've felt, for the sadness that has sometimes consumed me and for the fear that sometimes haunts me. </div><div><br /></div><div>Several <i>Teardrops</i> fall down my face for all the memories of the little warriors, whose faces I still see, as they lost their battle to the beast whose face I've yet had the pleasure to personally <i>mutilate</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div>Several <i>Teardrops</i> fall down my face for the number of times I wished this wasn't happening to us. </div><div><br /></div><div>Many <i>Teardrops</i> fall down my face for the many lives that are devastated year after year with a diagnosis of childhood cancer. They have no idea what they are up against and how strong they have to be to fight. It's like watching your child get hit by a speeding train and all you can do is stand there and watch and <i>hold on tight</i>, with hopes that their little bodies will still be standing there once that dreadful train passes.</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">**********</div><div><br /></div><div>Some of these <i>Teardrops</i> disappear into thin air because I can't live a life of sadness, a life of anger or a life of regret. I won't. I <i>can't</i>. I've got the true demon to fight and between standing up and facing it and standing up with Hunter.............that takes all my strength. And that's all I'm willing to give.</div><div><br /></div><div>Some of these <i>Teardrops</i> are swallowed up by the ground to be forever forgotten, because I can't live a life of pain. We've had enough pain over the last two years...........I don't want any more. <i>I can't take any more</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div>Several of these <i>Teardrops</i> are caught in my hand because they will always be remembered and I carry them with me every single day of my life to appreciate what we've been granted.</div><div><br /></div><div>Some of these <i>Teardrops</i> land on my heart, some cause bruises, some bring sweet sorrow and some bring a terrible, terrible heartache that is felt a thousand times worse than the most painful heart attack. </div><div><br /></div><div>Many of these <i>Teardrops</i> fall into my lap where I will continue to hold them dearly and never let them go.</div><div><br /></div><div>Some of these <i>Teardrops</i> caress my face as they fall and will forever be a sweet hand that is guiding me and allowing me to wake every morning with the hope that someday........everything, <i>truly</i>, will be alright.</div><div><br /></div><div>And some of these <i>Teardrops</i> remain hidden on my face........for it's the forever sadness that is now a part of my life. A sadness of what has been taken, a sadness of what has been witnessed and a sadness that now has been lived.</div><div><br /></div><div>These <i>Teardrops</i>, now, seem to outnumber the smiles. But soon, the <i>Teardrops</i> will equal the smiles, and hopefully, someday, the <i>Teardrops</i> will be consumed by the smiles. The sweet smiles of victory, the wonderful smiles of laughter and the loving smiles of life.......however, <i>if and only if </i>we are continued to be blessed with the life of our child. It is a day to day challenge, a day to day struggle and a day to day fight..........and it truly is exhausting and heart-wrenching and I feel as if my soul is constantly being tortured.</div><div><br /></div><div>We are still dreaming of the day when Hunter wakes up in the morning without crying and actually wakes up happy........the way he used to before he was initially diagnosed with cancer. We are still awaiting the nights when we don't have to check for fevers, check for chills or make him more comfortable because of the tube in his nose or the life lines in his chest. We are still wanting the day to come when we don't have to give him 25 medicines throughout the day, just to keep him alive. And we are anxiously wanting the next three years to pass, so that we can worry less about a relapse.......hoping and praying that we don't see the demon again, whose tried to take Hunter's life from us time and time again. We are looking forward to a life of normalcy.............hopefully that day comes soon. </div><div><br /></div><div>With all of that being said - I've smiled more in the last two months than I've smiled in the last two years. And those smiles are worth a lifetime of love.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S0KpkFyFPqI/AAAAAAAADfA/Xsi6FGcyPto/s1600-h/Zen-and-Hunter.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 356px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S0KpkFyFPqI/AAAAAAAADfA/Xsi6FGcyPto/s400/Zen-and-Hunter.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5423083338800119458" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S0KpjzeRW9I/AAAAAAAADe4/AwSVpY4nu8c/s1600-h/Hunter-Smiling.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 366px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S0KpjzeRW9I/AAAAAAAADe4/AwSVpY4nu8c/s400/Hunter-Smiling.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5423083333885189074" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S0MZGp4gE7I/AAAAAAAADfw/gzwV8DkFzU4/s1600-h/Me-and-Hunter-1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S0MZGp4gE7I/AAAAAAAADfw/gzwV8DkFzU4/s400/Me-and-Hunter-1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5423205978396955570" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S0MZGHJ3KrI/AAAAAAAADfo/Zn1wR6f7Gi8/s1600-h/Me-and-Hunter-2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S0MZGHJ3KrI/AAAAAAAADfo/Zn1wR6f7Gi8/s400/Me-and-Hunter-2.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5423205969074530994" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S0MZF2MqaXI/AAAAAAAADfg/NUapETffF-c/s1600-h/Me-and-Hunter-3.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S0MZF2MqaXI/AAAAAAAADfg/NUapETffF-c/s400/Me-and-Hunter-3.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5423205964522875250" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S0MZFtNHhfI/AAAAAAAADfY/dvwkqcvf5i8/s1600-h/Me-and-Hunter-4.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/S0MZFtNHhfI/AAAAAAAADfY/dvwkqcvf5i8/s400/Me-and-Hunter-4.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5423205962108863986" /></a></div>Lenorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09560305324604107601noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649924323068332000.post-31589739120443799292009-12-03T08:41:00.001-08:002009-12-03T08:51:53.108-08:00Squeaky Clean Marrow!<div>(Day 171 Post Transplant)</div><div><br /></div>We officially got the reports back from the "Head Chief's" desk and Hunter currently remains cancer free. The one cell that was spotted in early October has somehow been destroyed. Yay for strong, new Kick Ass marrow.........and a couple of herbs. He continues to be 100% donor and he is feeling just absolutely fantastic. What a precious holiday gift.Lenorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09560305324604107601noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649924323068332000.post-47495388445014853352009-11-09T14:09:00.000-08:002009-12-03T08:58:40.949-08:002 Years of Hell for 2 Weeks of Joy(Day 152 Post Transplant)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hunter and our dog, Bisous (Bee-Zoo)</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sv-av99UWeI/AAAAAAAADZs/FQbt6I-tAQc/s1600-h/Hunter-and-Bisous.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 398px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sv-av99UWeI/AAAAAAAADZs/FQbt6I-tAQc/s400/Hunter-and-Bisous.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404208226744162786" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">His new best friend.........I <i>think</i> Bisous is enjoying himself??????? Ha!</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sv-bFvMC5mI/AAAAAAAADZ0/o7TiPT2tMNY/s1600-h/Bisous.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sv-bFvMC5mI/AAAAAAAADZ0/o7TiPT2tMNY/s400/Bisous.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404208600736523874" /></a><br /><br />I have to start out first by saying that I feel so completely privileged and honored to still be a mom. Hunter is such an incredibly, wonderful blessing that I just absolutely cherish and to still have him in our life right now just tickles me to no end. My heart feels as if it's glowing and I can't stop looking at him and smiling........I have a constant ear to ear grin. The last two weeks have been absolutely amazing. Hunter has improved by leaps and bounds and is obviously turning a well deserved corner. A corner that, for a long time, we weren't sure we'd get the chance to see. <div><div><br />For those that haven't read the update on Facebook, his Cymerism results came back and Hunter is still 100% donor. That was really nice to hear. We will still do another <a href="http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/bone-marrow-biopsy/MY00305">Bone Marrow Aspirate</a> this coming Monday, (Nov. 16th), to check on everything at the marrow level.........but, as of now - Hunter remains cancer free.<br /><br />For the first time in two years.............Zen and I can take a deep breath. Or maybe 1/2 a deep breath...........at least until the next scare - which, by now, our minds and hearts have learned to remain on constant alert. But, I'll have to tell ya.....just having some peace of mind over the last few days has been so delightful. I almost feel normal.<br /><br />It's been a really long haul and I finally feel as if we are being rewarded for every last bit of pain and suffering and heartache that we've all had to endure. Hunter's body has been under constant attack basically since last December ..........starting with pneumonia, then a cancer relapse, then the cancer attacking him again, then a tremendous amount of chemo with radiation and every other ailment you can think of topped off with a <a href="http://rarediseases.about.com/od/rarediseasesb/a/bmt05.htm">Bone Marrow Transplant</a>. He hasn't had the chance or the opportunity to feel good for soooooooo long. And it's finally happening. It's truly such a delight to see.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hunter and his other favorite pet. We caught a frog and kept him as a house guest for about 3 days. Hunter was fascinated. He slept in our bed, hung out with us at meal time........and enjoyed cozy nights by the fire. We found him in our cabbage and nicely placed him back after his visit. He waved goodbye, shed a tear and off he hopped. Very charming that frog.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sv-ilZ30ezI/AAAAAAAADac/pnJqn0bxyIU/s1600-h/Hunter-and-the-Frog-Shots.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 307px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sv-ilZ30ezI/AAAAAAAADac/pnJqn0bxyIU/s400/Hunter-and-the-Frog-Shots.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404216841351756594" /></a><br /><br />I keep reliving the memory of being given the option to go home with Hunter when it was looking like his life was about to end and I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE missing out on the wonderful smiles and togetherness and moments that we've shared as a family over the last two weeks. I am forever grateful that we didn't give up on him. It's like we have our kid back and his little personality is just beaming and he laughs and giggles and cracks himself up throughout the entire day. This is the most we've seen from Hunter EVER. What a sweet surprise he's been. Within 2 weeks, so many of our sad and scary memories have been replaced with really wonderful memories and visuals of Hunter's smile and him wiggling his butt and his sweet, sweet voice. Even with the fleeting moments of sadness and anger realizing what we've been missing out on, we are still filled with such incredible feelings of love and gratefulness and absolute pure joy. Hunter is still here, and he has our hearts to their fullest extent and to see him finally "alive" and well has been so completely refreshing and soooooo much needed for all 3 of us. Yay yay YAY!!!! I applaud Hunter's strength and will to survive and am thrilled we gave birth to such a champion.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hunter deep in the trenches.........fighting for his life.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sv-jsDohuAI/AAAAAAAADak/wS0eCCbROwU/s1600-h/Bone-Marrow-Transplant-Radiation.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 227px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sv-jsDohuAI/AAAAAAAADak/wS0eCCbROwU/s400/Bone-Marrow-Transplant-Radiation.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404218055152744450" /></a><br /><br />As far as Hunter's check-up schedule, we still go to the hospital twice a week for blood draws and transfusions. One of the consistent questions we are asked is "how's he pooping"? It's a very good indicator on how his body is processing food & meds as well as how active his <a href="http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001309.htm">graft-vs-host disease</a> is that he has going on in his gut and upper stomach. We've become very good at describing the lovely textures that come out of Hunter's bottom. For the ease of the doctors getting a quick visual.......we often use food - mash potato, easy gravy is common, melted granola with raisins seems to be a favorite, wet hamburger is another, and Hunter's last creation - stinky tapioca. Good one dad. He is still taking 11 meds in the morning, 3 in the afternoon and 8 in the evening. They consist of steroids to prevent his <a href="http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001309.htm">graft-vs-host disease</a> from flaring up, antibiotics, anti-fungals, one med for high blood pressure, which he most likely has from taking the steroids, and then his calcium, magnesium and potassium to keep his electrolytes in tact. Giving all of these meds used to be a full time job - but now we've seemed to have gotten it down to a system and it's pretty easy to maintain. A job dad gladly handed over to mom. hmmmm.............<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">This is medicine time at our house. Good fun. The wine in the background is mamma's medicine.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sv987niUI_I/AAAAAAAADZk/O0g20evC2A0/s1600-h/Medicine-Time.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sv987niUI_I/AAAAAAAADZk/O0g20evC2A0/s400/Medicine-Time.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404175441534919666" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">This is one of Hunter's steroid temper tantrums. Really no fun at all. He just lets us have it for about 5 minutes and then he snaps out of it. whooooosh. It's like Gizmo turned mad, insane, Gremlin. He truly goes out of his mind like a crazy person. Thank goodness we love him so much or else we would have dropped him off at someone's door step like 3 weeks ago!</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sv-fdMzN99I/AAAAAAAADaU/12DnFiOz1aU/s1600-h/Grumpy-Hunter.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sv-fdMzN99I/AAAAAAAADaU/12DnFiOz1aU/s400/Grumpy-Hunter.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404213401868957650" /></a><br /><br />In addition to his meds, Zen and I also decided to hit Hunter with some herbs when we got the original report back that they spotted a troublesome Trisomy 21 cell. We did a 2 week regimen of Green Tea, Fever Few, Slippery Elm and SC Formula, which is a shark cartilage and reishi mushroom combination. Different amounts on different days depending on how Hunter's body was tolerating everything. He seemed to handle the herbs just fine and it is something that we'll continue to do on a consistent basis. That, thankfully, is a dad job.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hunter asleep in a wheelchair at one of our clinic visits. He was getting transfused all day long.......and he refuses to stay in a room........so we continue our routine and go around, and around and around.......I'm not kidding. If he's passed out and we stop for a second - he wakes up soooooooo fast and the only thing that comes out of his mouth is "MOM go pwease". hee hee.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sv-cGnmUcYI/AAAAAAAADZ8/pouDMxWgiXQ/s1600-h/Asleep-at-Doernbechers-Childrens-Hospital.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sv-cGnmUcYI/AAAAAAAADZ8/pouDMxWgiXQ/s400/Asleep-at-Doernbechers-Childrens-Hospital.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404209715390738818" /></a><br /><br />Hunter still has his nose hose, which we now only use for medications. It's so much easier to just stick all 22 of those meds in a tube, rather than have to mix them in pudding and have to coerce Hunter into eating some yum yum 3x a day, which is what we used to do. Made medicine time so less desirable. Hunter........needless to say..........will no longer open his mouth for chocolate pudding.......no matter what.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hunter with his nose hose and his swollen game face on. Dad took him to the zoo and he took his train ride very seriously that day.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sv-deBlHB9I/AAAAAAAADaE/YrUs9Q9YwoY/s1600-h/Game-Face-on-Zoo-Train.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sv-deBlHB9I/AAAAAAAADaE/YrUs9Q9YwoY/s400/Game-Face-on-Zoo-Train.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404211217013606354" /></a><br /><br />It's pretty funny the number of stares Hunter gets from people walking by when we are out in public.......I guess most people have never really seen a 3 year old with a nose hose and sometimes a donald duck and mickey mouse mask, and on extra paranoid days - the bubble stroller cover.............which officially makes him the <i>traveling</i> "boy in the bubble". I am sure I would stare as well out of pure curiosity, if it wasn't my kid......but, it would be nice to have another one of those flyers to hand out to people so that they know that they are walking by and witnessing a miracle. Maybe they can tell now by the huge smile on my face that doesn't seem to go away.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hunter hiding in one of our cupboards after terrorizing the house all day long.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sv-eGVKNDFI/AAAAAAAADaM/WBDPEA1R0Mw/s1600-h/Playing-in-Cupboards.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sv-eGVKNDFI/AAAAAAAADaM/WBDPEA1R0Mw/s400/Playing-in-Cupboards.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404211909464230994" /></a><br /><br />Zen and I almost forgot what it was like to be parents of a toddler. He hadn't really moved for the last 3 1/2 months! He wasn't crawling or walking. He definitely wasn't dancing. We had to carry him everywhere we went and man has he grown.......he's a heavy sack to pick up these days. He had to re-learn so many little things and get the muscle strength back for so many simple tasks. He just took his first steps on Halloween and it was such a nice reminder that Hunter used to be REALLY active. So much fun to see him up and around.........not to mention we've noticed how TALL he's gotten. WOW. He's grown so much over the last 6 months and it was hard to tell because he was always sitting or laying down!!</div><div><br /></div><div><b>All of us on Halloween. We carved three pumpkins and all he did aaaaalllllll day long was blow out the candles in the pumpkins and watch the smoke go up. Zen and I didn't seem to care...........It the was the best Halloween we've had in a long time, (Hunter was sick for the last two). So we just sat and smooched all day.</b><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SwBSL3q8g9I/AAAAAAAADas/j9Ywjhyb5HE/s1600-h/Hunter-Full-Halloween.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 330px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SwBSL3q8g9I/AAAAAAAADas/j9Ywjhyb5HE/s400/Hunter-Full-Halloween.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404409916720710610" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hunter's stroller ride home on Halloween night. We were all so happy that he walked! It was truly the best Halloween EVER!!</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SwBTmCzddVI/AAAAAAAADa0/j7g-BkosN8o/s1600-h/Night-Stroller-Ride.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SwBTmCzddVI/AAAAAAAADa0/j7g-BkosN8o/s400/Night-Stroller-Ride.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404411465897440594" /></a><br /></div><div>2 Years of Hell for 2 Weeks of Joy.................was it worth it..............you bet your ass it was. And I'd do it all over again if it means we get to keep Hunter for the rest of our lives. Our meaning of life has truly been evaluated time and time again over the last two years. And I'm not really sure we've come up with any answers yet, but I know this..................Hunter is the single most important thing to us right now. He's the first thing we think of when we open our eye's in the mornings and he's the last thing that crosses our mind before we lay our heads down to sleep. Our dreams are sweeter, our days are enlightened and happier and our life feels complete again. So until the next challenge, we're going to try to enjoy this life we've been granted...........another one of those celebration moments where we'll <i><b>sip the wine and pass the cup</b></i>! Cheers.</div><div><div><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hunter's Birthday and Life Celebration. It was a lovely and much enjoyed day.<span style="font-style:italic;"></span></span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SwBpXzUtWKI/AAAAAAAADa8/xD9NLzvhuD8/s1600-h/Birthday-Celebration.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 307px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SwBpXzUtWKI/AAAAAAAADa8/xD9NLzvhuD8/s400/Birthday-Celebration.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404435410479569058" /></a></div></div></div>Lenorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09560305324604107601noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649924323068332000.post-28904420392098491972009-10-15T22:30:00.000-07:002009-10-15T23:17:28.280-07:00Jaymun's Journey<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/StgN_F4CHSI/AAAAAAAADZc/aL7ONr0wkmg/s1600-h/Jaymun-2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 266px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/StgN_F4CHSI/AAAAAAAADZc/aL7ONr0wkmg/s400/Jaymun-2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393075931336285474" /></a><br /><br />........and what a <a href="http://www.jaymun.com/">journey</a> it was.<div><br /></div><div>Such a sweet, beautiful, little soul that will live in mine and Zen's and Hunter's hearts forever. </div><div><br /></div><div>We've been following his courageous <a href="http://www.jaymun.com/">story</a> and applauding all of his efforts, as well as his parents, for some time now. We are very, very, very saddened to hear of the news of <a href="http://www.jaymun.com/">Jaymun's</a> passing and have still yet to recover. </div><div><br /></div><div>Jaymun's father has been a huge and integral part in figuring out and managing Hunter's herbal regimen. We can only hope to continue to be guided by his knowledge and all of his amazing accomplishments in keeping <a href="http://www.jaymun.com/">Jaymun's</a> cancer under control and keeping his son alive for much, much longer then the doctors every thought was possible. Truly remarkable.</div><div><br /></div><div>Our deepest love and sympathy and warmest wishes filled with strength and peace and comfort are being sent to his family.</div><div><br /></div><div>Jaymun......may you rest without pain, may you rest without fear, may you rest with all the warmth and cuddles and snuggles that hugged you so tightly when you were with us. You made such a difference in our lives........and you will never be forgotten.</div><br /><a href="http://www.jaymun.com/">www.jaymun.com</a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/StgN-uJm3DI/AAAAAAAADZU/PISIlT5zKlI/s1600-h/Jaymun.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 266px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/StgN-uJm3DI/AAAAAAAADZU/PISIlT5zKlI/s400/Jaymun.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393075924967545906" /></a>Lenorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09560305324604107601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649924323068332000.post-36509853469619372652009-10-02T17:56:00.000-07:002009-10-03T00:29:59.000-07:00Happiness granted........& happiness taketh away<div>(109 days Post <a href="http://rarediseases.about.com/od/rarediseasesb/a/bmt05.htm">Transplant</a>)</div><br />We found out in clinic on Wed. that they detected a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Down_syndrome">Trisomy 21</a> cell in Hunter's blood work. They've told us that it could be an active cancer cell.......it could not be. They apparently only found 1........but, unfortunately, that's all it takes. We'll test him again in another month, and apparently the doctors are hoping that his new immune system takes care of it and terminates it on its own.<br /><br />Sooooooooo not too bad.....just a months worth of stress & terrible heartaches and a constant fighting back of the mental demons that seem to be getting harder and harder to keep further away from the forefront of our minds.<br /><br />So here's the deal - the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Down_syndrome">Trisomy 21 </a>genetic marker that Hunter has been spotted with is actually the down syndrome chromosone that is prevalent in most down syndrome children. Hunter doesn't carry this cell make-up throughout his entire body.......but his CANCER cells DO. So, in the past, whenever they've spotted the<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Down_syndrome"> Trisomy 21</a> cell.............the cancer was usually piggy backing. It's very unusual and another characteristic that makes Hunter's <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acute_myeloid_leukemia">AML Leukemia</a> unique.<br /><br />Needless to say..........Zen and I were once again devastated and spent most of Wednesday and Thursday confused, sad, randomly crying.......and just plain out of words. I feel as if there are a thousand needles stabbing at my heart on a pretty consistent basis, and those needles are speeding up and getting sharper every time Hunter says "mom", or "daddy" or laughs or shows us something cool or looks at us..........pretty much any interaction that I have with Hunter is slightly hurting right now and it's such a sad, sad, maddening state of mind to have to <span style="font-style:italic;">constantly</span> continue to get out of.<br /><br />For now we have to continue to focus on that little love of ours and enjoy every last bit of him. We completely realize that. Zen and I keep reminding one another of this simple act and definitely assist each other when one of us spots the other zoning out and about to crash and burn. It's pretty recognizable in our faces now when we are thinking about our life and our son and why we have to fight so hard to keep him alive and how truly unfair this all really is.<br /><br />We will go to clinic twice next week and like they normally do, they'll draw blood and run labs and look for any additional unusual activity going on. We spoke to one of his doctors before the weekend and she reassured us that <i>THEY</i> are <i>NOT</i> freaking out yet. They feel as if they need to keep a <i>VERY</i> close eye on it, but that one cell just wasn't enough to feel as if Hunter is about to go into a full-on <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acute_myeloid_leukemia">relapse</a>. It is actually common for one or two to be spotted in post <a href="http://rarediseases.about.com/od/rarediseasesb/a/bmt05.htm">bone marrow transplant</a> patients, but in Hunter's case......because of his history and how his cancer presents itself............it could be the <b><i>devil</i></b>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hunter going in for his <a href="http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/bone-marrow-biopsy/MY00305">Bone Marrow Aspirate</a>, obviously already sedated. It was day 98 post <a href="http://rarediseases.about.com/od/rarediseasesb/a/bmt05.htm">transplant</a> and it was actually on his birthday.........geez.......not such a fun birthday.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Ssb6dm6z29I/AAAAAAAADZM/JPtOF9cQIqA/s1600-h/Passed-out-Bone-Marrow-Test.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 266px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Ssb6dm6z29I/AAAAAAAADZM/JPtOF9cQIqA/s400/Passed-out-Bone-Marrow-Test.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5388269390765743058" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Zen and I waiting outside the procedure room waiting to pick him up.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Ssb6dQ2aEQI/AAAAAAAADZE/VewX37m7Yh8/s1600-h/Me-and-Zen-waiting-Bone-Marrow.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Ssb6dQ2aEQI/AAAAAAAADZE/VewX37m7Yh8/s400/Me-and-Zen-waiting-Bone-Marrow.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5388269384841695490" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Waiting anxiously for him to wake up.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Ssb6c2aIHfI/AAAAAAAADY8/3QH9qpq1-tQ/s1600-h/Waking-Up-Bone-Marrow.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Ssb6c2aIHfI/AAAAAAAADY8/3QH9qpq1-tQ/s400/Waking-Up-Bone-Marrow.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5388269377743756786" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Off we go..........just another day in the life of Hunter Zen Thawley.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Ssb6cVM8XpI/AAAAAAAADY0/kCbdRNb_oCE/s1600-h/Iron-Hunter-Bone-Marrow.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Ssb6cVM8XpI/AAAAAAAADY0/kCbdRNb_oCE/s400/Iron-Hunter-Bone-Marrow.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5388269368830090898" /></a>Lenorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09560305324604107601noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649924323068332000.post-52596164853629371152009-09-15T01:57:00.001-07:002009-10-03T00:32:03.096-07:00Hunter's Transformation<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'Lucida Grande';font-size:11px;"><div><b><br /></b></div><div> </div><div style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-weight:bold;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Hunter 1 month old. </span></span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight:bold;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">A true treasure.</span></span></i></span> </div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9CA2H45MI/AAAAAAAADSc/2VyrS-VFW_c/s1600-h/Hunter-1-month.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 375px; height: 250px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9CA2H45MI/AAAAAAAADSc/2VyrS-VFW_c/s400/Hunter-1-month.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381592662027068610" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><i> </i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><i></i></span><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><i>6 months old.</i></span></span> </div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9CBcjuLMI/AAAAAAAADSk/F1XS8_1C_Pk/s1600-h/Hunter-Bean-3.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 375px; height: 250px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9CBcjuLMI/AAAAAAAADSk/F1XS8_1C_Pk/s400/Hunter-Bean-3.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381592672344353986" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><b><i>14 months old......freshly diagnosed with <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acute_myeloid_leukemia">AML Leukemi</a></i></b></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><b><i><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acute_myeloid_leukemia">a</a> in December of 2007. This was one of his first smiles after being in the ho</i></b></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><b><i>spital for about 2 months. </i></b></span></span></span><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></b></i></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9GP8vjVmI/AAAAAAAADTM/mjm8eRp6xYA/s1600-h/IMG_5272.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9GP8vjVmI/AAAAAAAADTM/mjm8eRp6xYA/s400/IMG_5272.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381597319548589666" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><b><i>and believe me......it was hard to get.</i></b></span></span></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9GOtmrEpI/AAAAAAAADS0/68zTF76H1Dg/s1600-h/healing_hunter_028.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9GOtmrEpI/AAAAAAAADS0/68zTF76H1Dg/s400/healing_hunter_028.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381597298304946834" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"> <i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"></span></i><span style="font-weight:bold;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">1st round of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemotherapy">chemo</a>.</span></i> </span> </div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9GPjErC4I/AAAAAAAADTE/5z_Qt_B7Wyc/s1600-h/healing_hunter_009.JPG" style="text-decoration: none;"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9GPjErC4I/AAAAAAAADTE/5z_Qt_B7Wyc/s400/healing_hunter_009.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381597312657853314" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr18v06HXyI/AAAAAAAADXk/acjksTojBtA/s1600-h/IMGP0665.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr18v06HXyI/AAAAAAAADXk/acjksTojBtA/s400/IMGP0665.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385597890503073570" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; font-size:large;">Went with the mohawk after his hair started </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">falling out on the pillows.</span></i></b></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9IogHH7AI/AAAAAAAADTc/V4_z0ayHvnE/s1600-h/Mohawk+side+view.jpg" style="text-decoration: none;"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9IogHH7AI/AAAAAAAADTc/V4_z0ayHvnE/s400/Mohawk+side+view.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381599940382813186" /></a><br /><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></i></b><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><i><b></b></i></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><i><b>3rd round of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemotherapy">chemo</a>, handling everything like a champ.</b></i></span></span> </div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9GPNdDIjI/AAAAAAAADS8/ZsZkfm-uG_M/s1600-h/Crooked.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9GPNdDIjI/AAAAAAAADS8/ZsZkfm-uG_M/s400/Crooked.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381597306854515250" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"></span><span><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">4th round of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemotherapy">chemo</a></span></i></b></span><b><i> </i></b> </div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9Ir7UAkRI/AAAAAAAADTk/zFAipyvfC_4/s1600-h/Hunter-with-bert.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9Ir7UAkRI/AAAAAAAADTk/zFAipyvfC_4/s400/Hunter-with-bert.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381599999224221970" /></a> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9PSJuK-wI/AAAAAAAADUM/KLHqixXSKK0/s1600-h/Leukemia-sitting-and-waiting.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 385px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9PSJuK-wI/AAAAAAAADUM/KLHqixXSKK0/s400/Leukemia-sitting-and-waiting.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381607252996848386" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></i></b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">5th round of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemotherapy">chemo</a>........sometimes not so fun. </span></i></b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">This was a really hard round. </span></i></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></span></div></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr17mDpTHtI/AAAAAAAADXM/YayMs0NAgD0/s1600-h/Cancer-throw-up.jpg" style="text-decoration: none;"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr17mDpTHtI/AAAAAAAADXM/YayMs0NAgD0/s400/Cancer-throw-up.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385596623148752594" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr17m3oS-PI/AAAAAAAADXU/XbwnKOnurL8/s1600-h/Cancer+Mellow.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr17m3oS-PI/AAAAAAAADXU/XbwnKOnurL8/s400/Cancer+Mellow.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385596637103192306" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9PRnayKOI/AAAAAAAADUE/tfDRfrJgQB4/s1600-h/IV-Back-Pack-Leukemia.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9PRnayKOI/AAAAAAAADUE/tfDRfrJgQB4/s400/IV-Back-Pack-Leukemia.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381607243788724450" /></a> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9PRG0p7VI/AAAAAAAADT8/NNiSwbjtRBk/s1600-h/Leukemia-Dressing-Change-1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9PRG0p7VI/AAAAAAAADT8/NNiSwbjtRBk/s400/Leukemia-Dressing-Change-1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381607235038866770" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">In full <a href="http://ezinearticles.com/?Cancer-Remission:-What-Is-It-Exactly?&id=242550">remission</a> after 5 rounds of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemotherapy">chemo</a> </span></i></b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">and 9 months in the hospital.</span></i></b></span><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></i></b></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9PQjdRHsI/AAAAAAAADT0/5SG9jCc8a8s/s1600-h/Leukemia-Smiley-Triplet.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9PQjdRHsI/AAAAAAAADT0/5SG9jCc8a8s/s400/Leukemia-Smiley-Triplet.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381607225545531074" /></a><b><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></i></b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><i></i></b><span><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Hunter 2 years old.</span></i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><i>Obviously feeling pretty cool.</i></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><i> </i></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><i> </i></span></span></div></b><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9PQO2c78I/AAAAAAAADTs/fKRyt2Cg6y0/s1600-h/in-shades.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9PQO2c78I/AAAAAAAADTs/fKRyt2Cg6y0/s400/in-shades.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381607220014018498" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Enjoying life being cancer free</span></i></b></span><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">.</span></i></b></div><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr5zEc1OCdI/AAAAAAAADXs/we1pVYggwM4/s1600-h/Hunter-4-pics.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 369px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr5zEc1OCdI/AAAAAAAADXs/we1pVYggwM4/s400/Hunter-4-pics.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385868724677773778" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';">Hunter right before he got his pneumonia.....</span></span></i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';">shortly after, he was diagnosed with his <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acute_myeloid_leukemia">AML Relapse</a> in January of 2009. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></i></b></div><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1kpfibBlI/AAAAAAAADU8/kcqQYFIWC4g/s1600-h/Healing+Hunter+Fundraiser.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1kpfibBlI/AAAAAAAADU8/kcqQYFIWC4g/s400/Healing+Hunter+Fundraiser.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385571393408271954" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"></span><span style="font-weight:bold;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Hunter's cancer had returned </span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight:bold;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">after 6 months of being in <a href="http://ezinearticles.com/?Cancer-Remission:-What-Is-It-Exactly?&id=242550">remission</a>.</span></i></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span> </i></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9S_cR04WI/AAAAAAAADUs/befgJnte4VY/s1600-h/Very-Serious-Relapse.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9S_cR04WI/AAAAAAAADUs/befgJnte4VY/s400/Very-Serious-Relapse.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381611329607229794" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><b><i>1st round of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemotherapy">chemo</a>...........</i></b></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><b><i>here we go all over again.</i></b></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><b><i> </i></b></span> </div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9S-lSB1YI/AAAAAAAADUk/cUhoTOu-6vo/s1600-h/Flt3-Gene-Beautiful-Smile.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9S-lSB1YI/AAAAAAAADUk/cUhoTOu-6vo/s400/Flt3-Gene-Beautiful-Smile.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381611314844128642" /></a> </span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; font-family:'lucida grande', fantasy;font-size:large;">Feeling pretty good after 1st round.</span></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1noi6npJI/AAAAAAAADVk/veC58wDGCIo/s1600-h/Awesome-Hunter.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1noi6npJI/AAAAAAAADVk/veC58wDGCIo/s400/Awesome-Hunter.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385574675670082706" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1nnIBNrOI/AAAAAAAADVM/Hexd-rTCPnw/s1600-h/a-Hunter-laughing.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1nnIBNrOI/AAAAAAAADVM/Hexd-rTCPnw/s400/a-Hunter-laughing.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385574651270114530" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; font-family:'lucida grande', fantasy;font-size:large;">Right after the 2nd round of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemotherapy">chemo</a>.....</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande', -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><b><i>there were still traces of cancer in his <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bone_marrow">marrow</a>, so the doctors advised that we do another round to try to remove all of the remaining <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acute_myeloid_leukemia">leukemia</a>.</i></b></span></span></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1noLERdPI/AAAAAAAADVc/ss80QrRmwkQ/s1600-h/Bone-Marrow-Flower.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1noLERdPI/AAAAAAAADVc/ss80QrRmwkQ/s400/Bone-Marrow-Flower.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385574669268120818" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; font-family:'lucida grande', fantasy;font-size:large;">This is right after the 3rd round of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemotherapy">chemo</a>, the experimental <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clofarabine">Clofarabine</a>..............</span></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1nnoF2rAI/AAAAAAAADVU/5hCTkdIi_jg/s1600-h/After-Surgery-Wife-Beater-2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1nnoF2rAI/AAAAAAAADVU/5hCTkdIi_jg/s400/After-Surgery-Wife-Beater-2.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385574659879513090" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';">.....it didn't do a thing and the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acute_myeloid_leukemia">leukemia</a> almost killed him.</span></span></span></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1nmi0Jh6I/AAAAAAAADVE/8FDsoEFp_Ls/s1600-h/Hunter-105-Fever-AML-Leukemia.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 356px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1nmi0Jh6I/AAAAAAAADVE/8FDsoEFp_Ls/s400/Hunter-105-Fever-AML-Leukemia.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385574641283205026" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; "><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">The <a href="http://rarediseases.about.com/od/rarediseasesb/a/bmt05.htm">transplant</a> was postponed........and the possibility</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">of now even making it to <a href="http://rarediseases.about.com/od/rarediseasesb/a/bmt05.htm">transplant</a> was slim to none.</span></span></div></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1qIupwSsI/AAAAAAAADWM/pp2KgDxdbdE/s1600-h/Echocardiogram-Peek-AML-Leukemia.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1qIupwSsI/AAAAAAAADWM/pp2KgDxdbdE/s400/Echocardiogram-Peek-AML-Leukemia.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385577427599641282" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><br /></i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">We did another intense round of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemotherapy">chemo </a></span></i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">with hope of saving Hunter's life</span></i></b>.</div></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1qICHVMQI/AAAAAAAADWE/3LHEu90uAf0/s1600-h/Getting-Chemo.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1qICHVMQI/AAAAAAAADWE/3LHEu90uAf0/s400/Getting-Chemo.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385577415644098818" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande', -webkit-fantasy;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; font-family:'lucida grande', fantasy;">Pretty sad and scary times.</span></div></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1qHM-afWI/AAAAAAAADV0/uQePckOIx6c/s1600-h/Transfused-with-Platelets.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1qHM-afWI/AAAAAAAADV0/uQePckOIx6c/s400/Transfused-with-Platelets.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385577401379618146" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; font-family:'lucida grande', fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">B</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">u</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">t</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">s</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">o</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; font-family:'lucida grande', fantasy;font-size:large;"> far it was the right decision.........we were on our way back to <a href="http://rarediseases.about.com/od/rarediseasesb/a/bmt05.htm">transplant.</a></span></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1qHoFVlQI/AAAAAAAADV8/oOLgK5mOi-Y/s1600-h/Bone-Marrow-Transplant-chillin.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1qHoFVlQI/AAAAAAAADV8/oOLgK5mOi-Y/s400/Bone-Marrow-Transplant-chillin.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385577408656413954" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; font-size:large;"><a href="http://rarediseases.about.com/od/rarediseasesb/a/bmt05.htm">Transplant</a> day........and happy to be there.</span></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1qGhXTb9I/AAAAAAAADVs/7L5z_da0GKc/s1600-h/Bone-Marrow-Transplant-iPhone-Hat.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1qGhXTb9I/AAAAAAAADVs/7L5z_da0GKc/s400/Bone-Marrow-Transplant-iPhone-Hat.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385577389672853458" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">On his way to healing.....</span></span></i></b> </div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1vo8vNsWI/AAAAAAAADW0/uiOPZ2uP_-E/s1600-h/Cutie-Patutie.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 332px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1vo8vNsWI/AAAAAAAADW0/uiOPZ2uP_-E/s400/Cutie-Patutie.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385583478694588770" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><br /></i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; font-size:large;">Cat scan of his chest to check for a possible virus due to his low immune system.</span></div></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1voQzBpqI/AAAAAAAADWs/ThbsjHIKAHg/s1600-h/Liver-Cat-Scan.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 278px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1voQzBpqI/AAAAAAAADWs/ThbsjHIKAHg/s400/Liver-Cat-Scan.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385583466899416738" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1vnsagcFI/AAAAAAAADWk/VuzRqZhkBEA/s1600-h/Cutie.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1vnsagcFI/AAAAAAAADWk/VuzRqZhkBEA/s400/Cutie.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385583457132900434" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><br /></i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; font-size:large;">Short bump in the road with severe <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graft-versus-host_disease">Graft vs. Host disease</a> in his gut, upper stomach and skin. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; font-size:large;">Another horrible side effect of the <a href="http://rarediseases.about.com/od/rarediseasesb/a/bmt05.htm">Bone Marrow Transplant</a> that could have and can still take Hunter's life.</span></div></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1vnKZWC8I/AAAAAAAADWc/KFRmSX2-nVQ/s1600-h/Shedding-Snake-Skin.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1vnKZWC8I/AAAAAAAADWc/KFRmSX2-nVQ/s400/Shedding-Snake-Skin.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385583448001219522" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande', fantasy;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';">Kicked that and was on his way again to living a healthy life</span></i></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';">.</span></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1vmvwXNyI/AAAAAAAADWU/fG4D21GwQ8A/s1600-h/Chillin.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 398px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1vmvwXNyI/AAAAAAAADWU/fG4D21GwQ8A/s400/Chillin.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385583440850007842" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Even though he is finished with his <a href="http://rarediseases.about.com/od/rarediseasesb/a/bmt05.htm">transplant</a>.......we still get constant infusions of certain medicines, <a href="http://www.ouhsc.edu/platelets/Platelets/platelets%20intro.html">platelets</a>, <a href="http://www.ouhsc.edu/platelets/Platelets/platelets%20intro.html">red blood</a>, calcium.........whatever his body is lacking during this whole process.......you name it......there's a supplement.</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span></i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span></i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">This was us two weeks ago rushing to the emergency room </span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">with swollen cheeks and a face bleed</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">that wouldn't stop. Turns out he only needed <a href="http://www.ouhsc.edu/platelets/Platelets/platelets%20intro.html">platelets</a>.</span></span></span></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1yT2nyB_I/AAAAAAAADW8/Q7hDQagdN4U/s1600-h/Face-Bleed.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1yT2nyB_I/AAAAAAAADW8/Q7hDQagdN4U/s400/Face-Bleed.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385586414810433522" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Thank goodness he recovers so nicely..........</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">this was last week on the morning of his birthday party.</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Happy as a clam to still be alive and turning 3 after 2 years of fighting.</span></span></i></b></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1yUK10KsI/AAAAAAAADXE/todFXPXR8Eo/s1600-h/Sweetie.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sr1yUK10KsI/AAAAAAAADXE/todFXPXR8Eo/s400/Sweetie.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385586420238002882" /></a><br /><div>So..........almost a full 2 years later, Hunter finally had his <a href="http://rarediseases.about.com/od/rarediseasesb/a/bmt05.htm">Bone Marrow Transplant</a>. And all he had to do to get there was 9 rounds of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemotherapy">chemo</a>, a whole butt-load of <a href="http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/bone-marrow-biopsy/MY00305">bone marrow aspirates and biopsies</a>, tons of x-rays and numerous cat scans, 5 <a href="http://picclinenursing.com/picc_why.html">picc-line</a> surgeries and 2 <a href="http://surgery.med.umich.edu/pediatric/clinical/patient_content/a-m/broviac_teaching.shtml">broviac</a> surgeries, a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bronchoscopy">bronchoscopy</a> once or twice, a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colonoscopy">colonoscopy</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pneumonia">pneumonia</a>, a bunch of <a href="http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/bone-scan">bone scans</a>, <a href="http://www.radiologyinfo.org/en/info.cfm?pg=bodymr">mri's</a>, <a href="http://www.heartsite.com/html/echocardiogram.html">echocardiograms</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graft-versus-host_disease">graft vs. host disease</a>, <a href="http://www.justanswer.com/questions/11mvf-cedif-spelling-bacteria-found">cedif</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myositis">myositis</a>, <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/bv.fcgi?rid=cmed.section.40369">typlitis</a>, hmmmmmm...........what else..................oh yeah........and a whole hell of a lot of tears, heartache, deep.......deep seeded pain and fear...........and life changing emotions that will forever change the way we approach life, appreciate life and live life. We can't help but to sometimes feel as if we are on borrowed time with Hunter and that all of our sweat and tears and accomplishments can be taken away at any given moment. Just like that. So we live life now with Hunter's best interests at heart. And however long he has on this planet..........we are going to make sure that he has the best possible life imagined. I can't think of anyone who deserves it more.<br /></div><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SsEVWoswxXI/AAAAAAAADYE/2hrL7P699-s/s1600-h/Lashes.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SsEVWoswxXI/AAAAAAAADYE/2hrL7P699-s/s400/Lashes.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5386610107938293106" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SsEVWLw43zI/AAAAAAAADX8/RV5yz_bx3n0/s1600-h/Smiley-Hunter.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SsEVWLw43zI/AAAAAAAADX8/RV5yz_bx3n0/s400/Smiley-Hunter.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5386610100170972978" /></a>Lenorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09560305324604107601noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649924323068332000.post-29911041897747812512009-09-15T00:07:00.000-07:002009-09-15T02:06:35.355-07:00Celebration of Life<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9BSwvMTSI/AAAAAAAADSU/eVQoiW3rjU8/s1600-h/Green-Balls.jpg" style="text-decoration: none;"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sq9BSwvMTSI/AAAAAAAADSU/eVQoiW3rjU8/s400/Green-Balls.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381591870307323170" /></a><br />Hunter is turning 3 years old and we've decided to celebrate his life and enjoy the company of our good friends and all of those that have loved, supported, cheered on and shared our journey over the last two years.<div><br /></div><div>His birthday is September 21st, but we'll be celebrating it on the 19th of September at our home from the hours of 3pm to 9pm. We've posted the invite and have sent information through Facebook, but I know that there are lots of people whose information we don't have. So if you are reading the blog and would like to attend, please send me your information to lenore@zentodd.com or contact me through Facebook and I will forward you the event specifics. </div><div><br /></div><div>Thanks for all of the love and well wishes and wonderful emails and messages that continue to shine on us every single day. We are slowly getting caught up on life and are actually getting settled into our home and have somewhat of a routine now........so it's not so chaotic and scary.</div><div><br /></div><div>Hunter is smiling now more than ever and his spirits seem high and full of life. He's got quite the sense of humor and he's quite "grown up" for his short 3 years of being alive.........man.........what a life he's had.</div>Lenorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09560305324604107601noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649924323068332000.post-41257013334479941032009-08-26T23:03:00.000-07:002009-09-01T00:04:12.201-07:00Hunter's Start to Recovery(Day 72 Post Transplant)<div><br /></div><div>So here we are.......</div><div><br /></div><div>weird.</div><div><br /></div><div>Life has been very different over the last 30 days. Zen and I went through all sorts of stuff this last month and I think it's been a little bit of a reality-brick in the face. I will throw in, real quick, right now that today and yesterday were great days......so I think we are officially out of the deep funk - but whooooooooosh......we dealt with a somewhat harsh bit of reality coming home from the hospital after being there for the last 8 months and having to adjust to life again - with our life situation being far from normal.</div><div><br /></div><div>Hunter is our main focus. As soon as he wakes up, he's greeted with smiles and lots of lovin' and a thorough visual check-up, usually from both mom and dad, to see how he's feeling. He's usually connected still to his IV fluids that we are running at home, but it's easily transported all over the house. We start off in the kitchen with a choice of breakfast items and will pretty much make whatever it is that he'll say "yes" too. It's such a treat to see him eating again.......we'll cook anything and everything just to see him cram something into his tiny little pie hole. He is still experiencing some <a href="http://www.lymphomation.org/bmt-gvhd.htm">graft vs. host</a> in his gut and upper stomach, so his diet choices are somewhat limited - but he's eating a pretty good variety of some super yummy stuff. His taste buds seem to be quite refined. And before, during and after he's eating, dad and I are also busy plunging 10 morning meds into his "nose hose". After that, we pretty much try to go on with the rest of our day with meds again at 4pm and then again at 10pm. </div><div><br /></div><div>He is no longer puking and spewing from his bottom, and that ALONE is a huge relief. That was not going to well. When we were originally released from the hospital after our 104 day stay, Hunter was not doing that great. He was stable, but not himself, very low energy and not wanting to eat or drink or play. All he did was lay in bed and sleep. He barely moved and it was super depressing. We had clinic twice that week and he was checking out somewhat "ok" on that Monday and by that Friday - they checked us in. Hunter's condition had worsened and his fluids, foods and meds were not getting absorbed by his body because of his <a href="http://www.lymphomation.org/bmt-gvhd.htm">graft vs. host</a>. So we had to immediately check back into the hospital and switch Hunter back to IV meds, as opposed to oral meds, get him on a bunch of fluids and give his gut a rest. </div><div><br /></div><div>Definitely felt as if we were in the twilight zone. Felt a little dazed. Felt very saddened by Hunter's condition. Frustrated to be back in the hospital, bummed that we lost the pregnancy, and yadda, yadda, yadda.....it just plain sucked.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hunter laying still and not moving for about 7 days. So sad and so worried. We were glad to be home at the time.............but not really. Can't say it was that enjoyable.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpYy8RnQBGI/AAAAAAAADQc/HHSMGOOfujk/s1600-h/Laying-Still.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 225px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpYy8RnQBGI/AAAAAAAADQc/HHSMGOOfujk/s400/Laying-Still.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374539216414835810" /></a><br /><br /></div><div>After about 9 days of hospital stay - Hunter was swinging back around and feeling much, much better. Hence......Zen and I are swinging around and feeling much, much better. His gut has improved and he has started to act a little more normal again and is wanting to start participating in some other activities.</div><div><br /></div><div>We are now back home AGAIN and we've been here for about 10 days. We go to the hospital for clinic about 2-3 times a week and this week we are also starting physical therapy. They do a blood test in clinic every time to check his blood counts as well as other levels of meds in his system, and then we discuss his progress and make any appropriate changes to his daily regimen.</div><div><br /></div><div>He's not really walking at all and he actually just crawled for the first time in a month on Monday. He crawled for about 10 minutes and then didn't crawl again until today for about another 10 minutes. His poor little leg muscles have just deteriorated.......we've got lots of rebuilding to do. </div><div><br /></div><div>He is verbalizing a lot more so it's been super nice seeing his little personality come out. We are just so in love with him and sincerely can't ever imagine a life without him. He makes us smile so big every single day and we are just absolutely tickled to wake up with him every single morning. We are hoping and begging and wishing upon every star that we'll be able to keep him for the rest of our lives.</div><div><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Celebrating Hunter's "clean" marrow in our Iron Hunter TShirts. That was another great day. His bone marrow results came back 100% clean of any cancer. Hunter was too busy to celebrate. He apparently had some more emails to get out on the iPhone.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpY078Aq8AI/AAAAAAAADRE/aMmivlGhQHs/s1600-h/Celebrating-Bone-Marrow.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpY078Aq8AI/AAAAAAAADRE/aMmivlGhQHs/s400/Celebrating-Bone-Marrow.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374541409639133186" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hunter full-on with no hair, no eyebrows and no eye lashes. He'd make a cool KoJack.</span><br /></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpY08l0t5LI/AAAAAAAADRM/a32zR7a-eUM/s1600-h/Hunter-in-Iron-Hunter.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 225px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpY08l0t5LI/AAAAAAAADRM/a32zR7a-eUM/s400/Hunter-in-Iron-Hunter.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374541420863284402" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">These are our famous hospital wagon rides. Sometimes Hunter is connected to his IV pole, but still insists on going out - so dad figured out a way to rig the wagon to the pole and.......around......and around we went.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpZEJaIQwuI/AAAAAAAADSM/OGvWdlwPVoM/s1600-h/Zen-wagon-walk.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpZEJaIQwuI/AAAAAAAADSM/OGvWdlwPVoM/s400/Zen-wagon-walk.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374558133736751842" /></a><br /><br />This particular day, Hunter wanted to wear his Lightning McQueen baseball hat as well as his Lightning McQueen helmet. He obviously thinks he looks pretty cool. </span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpY45OrY3ZI/AAAAAAAADRU/3iS8HbMJ7nY/s1600-h/Helmet-and-Hat.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 225px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpY45OrY3ZI/AAAAAAAADRU/3iS8HbMJ7nY/s400/Helmet-and-Hat.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374545761157045650" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Another wagon ride at home. This kid is all about the wagon.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpY0658q9iI/AAAAAAAADQ0/6tPvDnTjYM0/s1600-h/Iron-Hunter-in-Wagon.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpY0658q9iI/AAAAAAAADQ0/6tPvDnTjYM0/s400/Iron-Hunter-in-Wagon.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374541391905617442" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hunter shedding his snake layer. This was the <a href="http://www.lymphomation.org/bmt-gvhd.htm">graft vs. host</a> on his skin all over his entire body. Wow. What a process.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpYy8trI0bI/AAAAAAAADQk/gwjLyPPZQpI/s1600-h/Shedding-Snake-Skin.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpYy8trI0bI/AAAAAAAADQk/gwjLyPPZQpI/s400/Shedding-Snake-Skin.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374539223947334066" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Starting to feel a little better..........and look a little better. We even got a smile one day. Geez.......poor little buddy. </span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpZEIydhIeI/AAAAAAAADSE/-3QvpXEJqPA/s1600-h/Bean-Smiling.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpZEIydhIeI/AAAAAAAADSE/-3QvpXEJqPA/s400/Bean-Smiling.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374558123088486882" /></a><br /></div><div><b>Hunter sporting this season's "Nose Hose". He wears it well.</b></div><div><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpY06VpLo2I/AAAAAAAADQs/5wUM4e3YCYQ/s1600-h/Cutie.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpY06VpLo2I/AAAAAAAADQs/5wUM4e3YCYQ/s400/Cutie.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374541382160196450" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpZEImHJc7I/AAAAAAAADR8/01tM9qKVbnw/s1600-h/Wagon-Eyes.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 255px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpZEImHJc7I/AAAAAAAADR8/01tM9qKVbnw/s400/Wagon-Eyes.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374558119773434802" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Me and Bean at his last check-up.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpY7efnsb6I/AAAAAAAADRk/9oscniiYNDQ/s1600-h/Me-and-Bean.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 348px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpY7efnsb6I/AAAAAAAADRk/9oscniiYNDQ/s400/Me-and-Bean.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374548600383369122" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hunter Crawling!!!!!</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpZEHY9WRvI/AAAAAAAADRs/0oQVTw7jmfY/s1600-h/Hunter-Crawling.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 251px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpZEHY9WRvI/AAAAAAAADRs/0oQVTw7jmfY/s400/Hunter-Crawling.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374558099062802162" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">This is a poorly lathered-up-with-sunscreen Hunter. hee hee. That stuff was soooooo potent and sticky.....it didn't come off. Seriously. Because of his cancer, he is now no longer a sun baby. His skin should pretty much not see the sun for the rest of his life due to it's extreme sensitivity from the radiation and the chemo. But, if he does get exposed to the sun, he should be in SPF 1000.......pretty thick stuff and we have to buy it from Mars.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpZEHzuEKxI/AAAAAAAADR0/cMwnxAKSygo/s1600-h/Hunter-Sunscreen.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpZEHzuEKxI/AAAAAAAADR0/cMwnxAKSygo/s400/Hunter-Sunscreen.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374558106246458130" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The view from our back porch...........an amazing place to heal Hunter........and ourselves.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpY7dwGaORI/AAAAAAAADRc/iciGUTJ5aSE/s1600-h/Sunset-1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SpY7dwGaORI/AAAAAAAADRc/iciGUTJ5aSE/s400/Sunset-1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374548587627297042" /></a></div>Lenorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09560305324604107601noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649924323068332000.post-15298265135617477772009-08-03T09:02:00.000-07:002009-08-03T12:16:15.997-07:00Dad is backHi guys,<br /><br />It's dad and I've been away from the blog for a very long time. It's about time I say thank you. <br /><br />First, of all let me say thank you to Lenore. What a woman. I love her dearly and I'm always impressed by her ability to communicate our journey. As devastating as this disease is - it hasn't attacked our relationship. We continue to draw strength from each other - day and night. We both acknowledge the power of positive thoughts and even when things are hardly positive we keep pulling each other out of the mental blackness that surrounds us. I couldn't do this without you - thank you my love.<br /><br />I also want to thank the many people that have helped us over the past two years. This is the journey of a life time and not one to go alone. Thank you for all the moral support. Thank you to everyone that have donated money or time. We would be in a very different space if not for you. Every single last person. Thank you for buying a t-shirt or a chapstick. Thank you for donating gifts for our fundraisers. Thank you to all the people that we have never met but have heard our story and then contributed to our lives in some way. The kindness and compassion never ceases to amaze me. I had no idea people could be so compassionate. I am humbled by you.<br /><br />Extra special thanks to the Kobbe's for being the kindest and most generous people I have ever met. Now that we have been home for 4 or 5 days we have had the pleasure of waking up and going to bed - to the most beautiful healing view of Oregon's wine country. It's one in a million and so are you both. Thank you - thank you- thank you:-)<br /><br />As I mentioned before we are home. After 104 days straight at the hospital they released us late last week. Out of the past 7 months we have been home about a total of 3 weeks. So going back to the hospital almost every day for check ups is a small price to pay for a little freedom. Hunter is stable with no fevers but his energy is low and he seems to be without his usually strong life force. It has us deeply concerned. He lays in bed all day and still isn't eating. We feed him by NG Tube ( I call it the nose hose) and we give him a concoction of liquid drugs thru the hose three times a day. I think we are administering somewhere between 9-12 life saving drugs a total of 20-30 times per day. It's a full time job. Then we have to get food and water into him - again thru the hose. Too much fluids at one time cause him to vomit so we are constantly balancing between too much and not enough. It's rough and somewhat discouraging to watch him so low. However, we have to be thankful that the fevers are gone and especially that his bone marrow came back free from cancer. It was only a week or two ago when we were thinking the worst was happening and the terror of losing Hunter crept into our minds and destroyed us until his marrow results came back free of cancer. That was a huge relief - when we got the wonderful news - Lenore and I held each other and sobbed for 30 minutes absolutely overcome with joy. What a ride. LOL.Zen Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04490440622245034467noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649924323068332000.post-33666248725040990532009-07-19T19:11:00.000-07:002009-07-22T01:17:48.998-07:00Living with FEAR<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; ">(Day 36 Post <a href="http://rarediseases.about.com/od/rarediseasesb/a/bmt05.htm">Transplant</a>)</span></div><div><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">We snuck Hunter out at 11pm when all the visitors were gone and we could get some fresh air. It was the first time he had been outside in 97 days.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sma3IYO1miI/AAAAAAAADPM/460junbbpug/s1600-h/Doernbecher-Sneak-out.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 225px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sma3IYO1miI/AAAAAAAADPM/460junbbpug/s400/Doernbecher-Sneak-out.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361173761002674722" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sma4EIzlDVI/AAAAAAAADPU/izWXfDd7zWk/s1600-h/Doernbecher-Sneak-Out-2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sma4EIzlDVI/AAAAAAAADPU/izWXfDd7zWk/s400/Doernbecher-Sneak-Out-2.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361174787653963090" /></a><br /><br /></div>So I am not going to lie. <div><br /></div><div>Zen and I are terrified. </div><div><br /></div><div>As tough as we come across and as positive as we seem...........we are constantly having to deal with the fact that Hunter's <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acute_myeloid_leukemia">Leukemia</a> might return, (since it has now invaded his body 3 times). </div><div><br /></div><div>I know we are supposed to think and deal with "one day at a time", and I know we can only enjoy today because we really have no idea what tomorrow is going to bring. BUT, we look at Hunter and treasure his sweet face and his wonderful being so much, that we can't help but try to be prepared for what terrible beast might be lurking around the corner. Not to mention the docs have basically said that no matter what and all that we've been through..........there's a 90% chance that his cancer is coming back.</div><div><br /></div><div>Hunter truly is doing fantastic. He does have a serious rash all over his body.......but it's not necessarily considered a bad thing, yet. It might be <a href="http://www.lymphomation.org/bmt-gvhd.htm">Graft vs. Host</a> or it could be something viral. If it is <a href="http://www.lymphomation.org/bmt-gvhd.htm">Graft vs. Host</a>........that's a good thing as long as it stays within the boundaries of being able to be controlled. If it's viral.....not as good, but apparently treatable. </div><div><br /></div><div>This is sooooooooooo by far the life I would NOT have chosen to live. It's truly like constantly living in fear. It's like having something grab a hold of you and dictate your days and your mental being and you have to fight like hell to "stay in the moment" and not let it get the best of you. It's the hardest life I could have ever imagined. It's the most difficult frame of mind I've ever had to deal with. And granted...........Zen and I are both very strong individuals.............but, for god's sake.........I think we are starting to realize our limits. Our hearts can only be broken so many times.</div><div><br /></div><div>On top of all this pressure of wanting to keep Hunter alive for as long as possible.......Zen and I were actually 3 months pregnant. Sadly enough......we lost the pregnancy this weekend and are once again - truly devastated. I think, right now, we are at a loss for words and just have NO IDEA why all of this is happening to us. We now fully realize that there are NEVER any guarantees in life and you just have to pick yourself up and just keep on going. Zen's mom kindly said as she was hugging me that life is not going to beat us and it's not going to bring us down. We can...and we will.....beat it - we just have to keep looking forward and appreciate what we DO have. We have Hunter, he is alive and doing exceptionally well and Zen and I have each other. Which is honestly two of the best things we've got - but I have to tell ya..............we are bummin' and we just want to go HOME and enjoy our lives and live a normal life like everyone else does. I think it's time. And I think we are ready.</div><div><br /></div><div>We are tired of being sad........we are tired of being angry.....we are emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted and we are tired of living this particular life. It's now been almost two years of dealing with Hunter's <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acute_myeloid_leukemia">illness</a> and we are finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel......and I can honestly say that we are running like mad trying to get there as soon as possible. </div><div><br /></div><div>Life can be quite questionable and wonderful and cruel. Friendships have shown to be true and false and ever so appreciated. True and honest love has been proven to be strength and light and comfort and all encompassing safety. I've never had so much to deal with all at one time. I've never called upon so many friends and strangers for the energy and power to keep on going.......and I've never realized so much, until now, that life is something to be embraced and fulfilled and treasured for as long as you've been given the honor to do so. </div><div><br /></div><div>We will deal with what we have to deal with - we will continue to support each other for as long as one another is called upon and we will fight through and learn from these life lessons and hopefully come out stronger and tougher and brighter than the most powerful star. I am so, so sad and I feel as if my spirit is broken............but it heals and gets bandaged up every time I look at Hunter's beautiful face and with every hug and kiss that Zen lays upon my skin.......I couldn't ask for much more. </div><div><br /></div><div>Zen made the comment and reminded me that <b><i>"Happiness is a state of mind"</i></b>..................you bet it is.</div><div><br /></div><div>***************************</div><div><br /></div><div>I wrote this post two days ago and just came back to it to add some photographs. Just in two shorts days................we were on our way to go home - but now Hunter is spiking 104 degree fevers and he's just not himself again. We were getting so used to seeing him spunk around the room and wanting to get out of bed and do his thing...........but today, there was a substantial difference in his behavior. He's not talking too much, he's not taking his meds again and is grumpy and hot and fed up. Not the Hunter we are used to. They are doing an emergency <a href="http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/bone-marrow-aspiration-and-biopsy">Bone Marrow check</a> tomorrow to make sure that his marrow is still clean, (which by the way - on Friday we were told that it was. Not to mention we were also told that 100% of his marrow was the donors marrow), so that's FANTASTIC. However, the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acute_myeloid_leukemia">Leukemia</a> can still return......and it moves in fast.</div><div><p></div><div><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hunter getting yet another Cat Scan to check on his liver. Apparently it was the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voriconazole">Voriconazole</a> medication that seems to have been the culprit of his liver acting up. The doctors have since switched his anti-fungal and now he's doing much better.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sma4kRbN5HI/AAAAAAAADP8/IjmUmNTiELA/s1600-h/Liver-Cat-Scan.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 278px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sma4kRbN5HI/AAAAAAAADP8/IjmUmNTiELA/s400/Liver-Cat-Scan.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361175339723514994" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">This is Hunter's morning dose of meds - 8 all together. He then gets three more in the afternoon and then the same morning dose at nighttime. He's toooootally over it.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sma4kC9GvGI/AAAAAAAADP0/BGutoVU7NnM/s1600-h/Transplant-Daily-Meds.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 242px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sma4kC9GvGI/AAAAAAAADP0/BGutoVU7NnM/s400/Transplant-Daily-Meds.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361175335839120482" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">This is his horrible skin rash that attacked his whole body. Could still be viral, but leaning more towards the Graft vs. Host now. We'll see if his fevers subside and the increase in steroids makes it any better.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sma4j5mD5wI/AAAAAAAADPs/qc0xdG1oojc/s1600-h/Graft-vs-Host-Rash.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 288px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sma4j5mD5wI/AAAAAAAADPs/qc0xdG1oojc/s400/Graft-vs-Host-Rash.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361175333326546690" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">This is Hunter's hospital room door................where we've been living inside now for about 100 days. Thank goodness for pictures.......it reminds us which room is ours.......hee hee.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sma4jbAjJlI/AAAAAAAADPk/o4eb7T-b9t8/s1600-h/Doernbecher-Hunters-Room.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sma4jbAjJlI/AAAAAAAADPk/o4eb7T-b9t8/s400/Doernbecher-Hunters-Room.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361175325116147282" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hunter and dad on a walk around the halls. Good nighttime fun.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sma4jPMuyqI/AAAAAAAADPc/1eCF6tjMq-k/s1600-h/Dad-and-hunter-Walking.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Sma4jPMuyqI/AAAAAAAADPc/1eCF6tjMq-k/s400/Dad-and-hunter-Walking.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361175321946016418" /></a></div><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">What we get ourselves into once we get back in the room.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SmbCin1MxeI/AAAAAAAADQE/SD9UX4WiH78/s1600-h/Mom-as-Elephant.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 219px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SmbCin1MxeI/AAAAAAAADQE/SD9UX4WiH78/s400/Mom-as-Elephant.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361186306494612962" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SmbEn9lLFDI/AAAAAAAADQU/UES_vzAgdDE/s1600-h/Hunter-is-Glasses.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SmbEn9lLFDI/AAAAAAAADQU/UES_vzAgdDE/s400/Hunter-is-Glasses.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361188597255574578" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Watching YouTube..........up close and personal.<br /></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SmbEnocED9I/AAAAAAAADQM/IBVfZHKC32U/s1600-h/youtube.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SmbEnocED9I/AAAAAAAADQM/IBVfZHKC32U/s400/youtube.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361188591580221394" /></a>Lenorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09560305324604107601noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649924323068332000.post-4965461346499849482009-07-09T09:34:00.000-07:002009-07-10T08:24:17.197-07:00Colonoscopy..........OUCH......<span style="font-weight: bold;">(Day 24 Post </span><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://rarediseases.about.com/od/rarediseasesb/a/bmt05.htm">Transplant</a><span style="font-weight: bold;">)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hunter watching Cookie Monster on the iPhone.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SldWBQHWBZI/AAAAAAAADOE/FY-Mbe3V-34/s1600-h/Hunter-and-iPhone.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SldWBQHWBZI/AAAAAAAADOE/FY-Mbe3V-34/s400/Hunter-and-iPhone.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356844861286122898" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Cookie Monster no longer impressing.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SldWBBkqR3I/AAAAAAAADN8/XTCU126wmRE/s1600-h/Hunter-crashed-iPhone.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SldWBBkqR3I/AAAAAAAADN8/XTCU126wmRE/s400/Hunter-crashed-iPhone.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356844857382553458" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Hunter had his very first <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colonoscopy">Colonoscopy</a> yesterday. Good fun.<br /><br />The docs were concerned that he might be experiencing a little of the <a href="http://www.ibmtindy.com/faq/graft.htm">Graft vs. Host disease</a> in his gut based on his "poop" output and some tummy & chest pain. Nothing major and nothing too serious and in fact it's quite common post <a href="http://rarediseases.about.com/od/rarediseasesb/a/bmt05.htm">transplant</a>. It's treated with <a href="http://www.nature.com/bmt/journal/v28/n1/full/1703094a.html">steroids</a> and most likely just goes away. The doctor that performed the procedure turned over some really wonderful photos of Hunter's insides..........a few sides of him that I have never seen before. Didn't think there were any left??? So now we have just a few more wonderful pics for Hunter's baby book. I'll put those right next to his little foot prints and his little ringlet of hair...............that has now fallen out twice. But good news is that peach fuzz has officially been spotted on his head...so YAY.....his curls will be back soon!<br /><br />Along with his <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colonoscopy">colonoscopy</a>, they also did a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bone_marrow_examination">marrow</a> check. His <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Absolute_neutrophil_count">ANC</a> has been above 500 now for 5 days in a row......so that means that his <a href="http://www.marrow.org/PATIENT/Donor_Select_Tx_Process/Waiting_for_Engraftment_Days_0/index.html">engraftment</a> is complete. Now the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bone_marrow_examination">marrow procedure</a> will check to see how much has <a href="http://www.marrow.org/PATIENT/Donor_Select_Tx_Process/Waiting_for_Engraftment_Days_0/index.html">engrafted</a> and will let us know exactly what is going on within the marrow, for example what cells it's making on it's own and the rough percentage of each as far as white cells, red cells and platelets, and to make sure that so far, all of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acute_myeloid_leukemia">leukemia</a> is gone.<br /><br />They put him to sleep around 12:30pm to perform the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colonoscopy">colonoscopy</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bone_marrow_examination">marrow</a> and he woke up at about 3pm rearing to go. You'd never know something was just up his "yoo hoo", because he was instantly demanding his cars collection and wanted his <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xW58S1FNFts">YouTube</a> and was wanting to get down off his bed to go play by the windowsill. Of course............nothing phases him anymore.<br /><br />We should have preliminary results back from both procedures no later than Friday.<br /><br />He is still throwing up a good bit, can't really keep any of his oral meds down......which is kinda not good. Might have to consider an <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nasogastric_intubation">NG Tube</a> to put up his nose that goes down to his belly to be able to administer all of the meds we are going to have to give him once we go home. Other than that, he's sleeping pretty sound, his days are pretty good and he seems really happy and active for the most part.<br /><br />Daddy has been banished from the hospital. He had to go to LA for business over this last weekend and he ended up coming back sick. I picked him up from the airport late Monday night and brought him back to the hospital and the nurse immediately sent him home. He's now back at the house and no one will go near him.....not even grandma. He's referred to himself as <span style="font-style: italic;">"the leper"</span>. He's quite sad and lonely and feels really bummed that he can't be with Hunter. Yesterday's procedures were the first ones where dad was not there. We miss him terribly and are hoping he gets better soon. He's not aloud back in the hospital until he is 100% better.......so hopefully he bounces back as quickly as Hunter does!<br /><br />Well just as I'm finishing typing..........the doc came in and confirmed that Hunter does indeed have <a href="http://www.ibmtindy.com/faq/graft.htm">Graft vs. Host</a> going on in his gut as well as his upper stomach. That explains the pain and discomfort he's been having sometimes throughout the day and night. <a href="http://www.nature.com/bmt/journal/v28/n1/full/1703094a.html">Steroids</a> start immediately and run the course for 10 days. They feel as if we should see some major improvements by then. A few nurses cheered when they heard about the <a href="http://www.ibmtindy.com/faq/graft.htm">Graft vs. Host</a>.........another true sign that the <a href="http://rarediseases.about.com/od/rarediseasesb/a/bmt05.htm">Bone Marrow Transplant</a> has worked! WOOO HOOO.......never thought I'd be cheering for ick in the gut...........but <span style="font-weight: bold;">YAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hunter still standing and walking on his tippy toes.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SldXHHtxppI/AAAAAAAADO0/SndAyARKkMk/s1600-h/Tippy-toes.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 209px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SldXHHtxppI/AAAAAAAADO0/SndAyARKkMk/s400/Tippy-toes.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356846061622240914" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">In between iPhone and YouTube time.........he actually does get some reading in...Dr. Seuss is a favorite.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SldW85MzOZI/AAAAAAAADOs/IfXIYin1LB0/s1600-h/Dr.-Seuss.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 225px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SldW85MzOZI/AAAAAAAADOs/IfXIYin1LB0/s400/Dr.-Seuss.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356845885927143826" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">These are his rosy cheecks where the <a href="http://www.ibmtindy.com/faq/graft.htm">Graft vs. Host</a> is suspect.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SldW8gY4FuI/AAAAAAAADOk/ZQmu1499jsQ/s1600-h/GvH-on-cheeck.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 366px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SldW8gY4FuI/AAAAAAAADOk/ZQmu1499jsQ/s400/GvH-on-cheeck.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356845879266907874" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The rash on his legs right above his knees which is another indication of <a href="http://www.ibmtindy.com/faq/graft.htm">Graft vs. Host</a>. It looks like his butt.......but I swear it isn't!!</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SldW8n7xtRI/AAAAAAAADOc/45xDje-2DHU/s1600-h/GvH-on-Legs.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 225px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SldW8n7xtRI/AAAAAAAADOc/45xDje-2DHU/s400/GvH-on-Legs.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356845881292338450" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">On our way, traveling in cush cush, to the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colonoscopy">colonoscopy</a>. If he only knew what was coming....he might not be so relaxed!</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SldW8OYhb_I/AAAAAAAADOU/cjeZ2XPavlE/s1600-h/Travel-to-Colonoscopy.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 225px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SldW8OYhb_I/AAAAAAAADOU/cjeZ2XPavlE/s400/Travel-to-Colonoscopy.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356845874433585138" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">About to go under for his procedure. Doesn't seem to care about much as long as he has <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCEq7htBA6g"><span style="font-style: italic;">Strip Weathers</span></a> in one hand and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xy_4WRcKZUI"><span style="font-style: italic;">Wingo</span></a> on the iPhone. </span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SldW7x5eWhI/AAAAAAAADOM/pZ2XfKpl87s/s1600-h/Pre-Colon.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 261px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SldW7x5eWhI/AAAAAAAADOM/pZ2XfKpl87s/s400/Pre-Colon.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356845866787166738" border="0" /></a>Lenorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09560305324604107601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649924323068332000.post-12597725679160814382009-07-05T15:45:00.000-07:002009-07-05T17:44:17.696-07:00Engrafting like a CHAMP(20 Days Post <a href="http://rarediseases.about.com/od/rarediseasesb/a/bmt05.htm">Transplant</a>)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hunter going in to his </span><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.medicinenet.com/cat_scan/article.htm">Cat Scan</a><span style="font-weight: bold;"> with dad's iPhone. That thing has </span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">SAVED</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> us and has allowed Hunter to enjoy most of his procedures. iPhone mixed in with </span><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midazolam">versed</a><span style="font-weight: bold;"> makes for a very happy Hunter.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SlE8lVknmjI/AAAAAAAADM0/8oYAytvDIO8/s1600-h/Cat-Scan-iPhone.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 225px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SlE8lVknmjI/AAAAAAAADM0/8oYAytvDIO8/s400/Cat-Scan-iPhone.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355128044063791666" border="0" /></a><br /><br />So we've now lived in the hospital with Hunter for the last <span style="font-weight: bold;">81 days</span> .......<span style="font-weight: bold;">STRAIGHT</span>. We came in Easter week - expecting to do a quick round of chemo and then head to <a href="http://rarediseases.about.com/od/rarediseasesb/a/bmt05.htm">transplant</a>. Obviously....we've taken the longer route. We've been in and out since January 12th, when Hunter first relapsed, with only being home in between about 3 weeks. So basically, it's now been 7 months and we are truly almost on our way out.<br /><br />Hunter's <a href="http://www.ucsfhealth.org/childrens/medical_services/cancer/bmt/conditions/bmt/treatments.html">counts are finally coming up</a>, which means that his "new" marrow is starting to <a href="http://www.marrow.org/PATIENT/Donor_Select_Tx_Process/Waiting_for_Engraftment_Days_0/index.html">engraft</a> and make its own red cells, whites cells and platelets. He is still getting transfused with platelets almost daily.....but now, it's likely we will be able to transfuse less starting this upcoming week.<br /><br />His infection in his lungs seems to be less of a worry. His Xray was followed up with a <a href="http://www.medicinenet.com/cat_scan/article.htm">cat scan</a> and then a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bronchoscopy">bronchoscopy</a> on Thursday of last week. They also did a <a href="http://www.luminexcorp.com/rvp/overview.html">respiratory viral panel</a> from his mouth and nose to try to locate the source of infection and the cause of his fevers. Needless to say.....everything has come back negative and the only thing that was switched was one of his <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antifungal_drug">antifungals</a>. And low and behold - the fevers have subsided. He no longer needs oxygen and the need for morphine has also dropped.<br /><br />The signs of his "new" marrow taking over have been a rash on his face, rash on his arms and his <a href="http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=20030">ANC</a> count today being at 610. Anything over 500 for 3 days in a row means <a href="http://www.marrow.org/PATIENT/Donor_Select_Tx_Process/Waiting_for_Engraftment_Days_0/index.html">engraftment</a> is taking place. YAY!!!!!!! That's another HUGE step to recovery and another nice indication that the <a href="http://rarediseases.about.com/od/rarediseasesb/a/bmt05.htm">Bone Marrow Transplant</a> so far, has been a success.<br /><br />He continues to be on <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vancomycin">Vancomycin</a> & <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meropenem">Meropenem</a>, (antibiotics), <a href="http://www.ambisome.com/index2.php?section=about&page=intro">Ambisome</a>, (anti-fungal), <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ursodiol">Ursodiol</a>,(which protects his liver), <a href="http://www.drugs.com/cellcept.html">Cellcept</a>, (which helps with his Graft vs. Host disease), <a href="http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/drug-information/DR601591">Cyclosporine</a>, (which is an anti-rejection medicine), and <a href="http://www.drugs.com/prevacid.html">prevacid</a>, (which helps with heartburn). He has also been getting <a href="http://www.drugs.com/lasix.html">Lasix</a> the last few days to help with the draining of all of the fluid in his body. Quite an extensive list to keep him going and safe.<br /><br />We are considered "likely" to go home when he starts to eat and drink on his own, when he can take all of the above medications that are still needed orally instead of through his IV, when he no longer needs <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_transfusion">blood transfusions</a>, and when there are no more signs of fevers or infections. So we could actually be home in a couple of weeks!<br /><br />His nightly blood draws continue to check for any signs of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acute_myeloid_leukemia">Leukemia</a> returning......so we get the print out every morning, hoping....with a huge knot in our heart and stomach.....that we don't see any results of <span style="font-style: italic;">"atypical"</span> cells. <span style="font-weight: bold;">NOT</span> a good sign when we see those and something that we never want to see ever again.<br /><br />Our journey is not nearly over, but it is looking like we will hopefully be one set of parents that gets to leave the hospital with their child alive and well. And believe me..........we feel exceptionally grateful for that and will forever count our blessings.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me and Bean waiting for the <a href="http://www.medicinenet.com/cat_scan/article.htm">Cat Scan</a>.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SlFDW150fEI/AAAAAAAADNc/VNSRrauWhZY/s1600-h/Me-and-Bean-waiting-for-CT.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 225px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SlFDW150fEI/AAAAAAAADNc/VNSRrauWhZY/s400/Me-and-Bean-waiting-for-CT.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355135491626007618" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SlFDWqbNAHI/AAAAAAAADNU/ihfCAigorSc/s1600-h/Still-waiting-for-CT.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SlFDWqbNAHI/AAAAAAAADNU/ihfCAigorSc/s400/Still-waiting-for-CT.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355135488544800882" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hunter before </span><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midazolam">Versed</a><span style="font-weight: bold;">.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SlFDWYANXqI/AAAAAAAADNM/NW1zGstDaU4/s1600-h/before-versed.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SlFDWYANXqI/AAAAAAAADNM/NW1zGstDaU4/s400/before-versed.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355135483599740578" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hunter after <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midazolam">Versed</a>.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SlFDV-d587I/AAAAAAAADNE/peLRE81FsGA/s1600-h/After-Versed.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 218px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SlFDV-d587I/AAAAAAAADNE/peLRE81FsGA/s400/After-Versed.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355135476744975282" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hunter's lung mystery.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SlFDVgUXNUI/AAAAAAAADM8/nZWQeyfYaXY/s1600-h/Hunters-Lung-mystery.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SlFDVgUXNUI/AAAAAAAADM8/nZWQeyfYaXY/s400/Hunters-Lung-mystery.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355135468651885890" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Slowly going off to sleep getting ready for his </span><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bronchoscopy">Bronchoscopy</a><span style="font-weight: bold;">.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SlFEaC6JwqI/AAAAAAAADN0/JGKAP2Hb1WY/s1600-h/Going-to-sleep.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SlFEaC6JwqI/AAAAAAAADN0/JGKAP2Hb1WY/s400/Going-to-sleep.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355136646168298146" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Daddy saying goodbye.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SlFEaPbeX4I/AAAAAAAADNs/JdcYFGbkXAw/s1600-h/Daddy-says-goodbye.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SlFEaPbeX4I/AAAAAAAADNs/JdcYFGbkXAw/s400/Daddy-says-goodbye.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355136649529286530" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Waking up in recovery.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SlFEZ8ek6wI/AAAAAAAADNk/eZyowIjtSiE/s1600-h/Going-in-for-bronch.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SlFEZ8ek6wI/AAAAAAAADNk/eZyowIjtSiE/s400/Going-in-for-bronch.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355136644442024706" border="0" /></a>Lenorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09560305324604107601noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649924323068332000.post-83657506634419898742009-07-01T10:41:00.000-07:002009-08-14T23:18:04.088-07:00......let the Games begin(16 Days Post <a href="http://rarediseases.about.com/od/rarediseasesb/a/bmt05.htm">Transplant</a>)<br /><br />sooooo............here we go.............<br /><br />Constant fevers, runny nose, tummy pain, back on morphine, back on oxygen................and of course.........gotta throw in a virus, which they found this morning with a lovely 5am Xray of his chest. Great nights sleep........yeah right.<br /><br />He's still crashed out in his bed. I'm sure he's feeling pretty crappy. He's moaning and groaning and not moving around a whole bit. It's now 10:30am and he's been sleeping for about 11 hours. Guess I'd rather be sleeping as well if my body had all of this going on.<br /><br />The doctors pretty much have him covered with meds.......so they won't really add any more. Might switch a couple of them up, but for the most part - he's on all the heavy hitters they've got. They apparently just need to swing a little harder!<br /><br />He still remains in good spirits in between feeling like crap so maybe by late afternoon, he'll feel like throwing down some smiles. I hope so...........I look forward to them on a daily basis.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Our wake-up call at 5am. Nothing like room service. They could have at least brought in some breakfast or coffee.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SkukYcn52LI/AAAAAAAADLc/vjHz2CmcmYQ/s1600-h/Xray.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 225px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SkukYcn52LI/AAAAAAAADLc/vjHz2CmcmYQ/s400/Xray.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5353553321967343794" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hunter in the tub 2 nights ago. One of his better moments.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SkukYGZlhiI/AAAAAAAADLU/Ee6sMbU8e6E/s1600-h/Bubble-Bath.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SkukYGZlhiI/AAAAAAAADLU/Ee6sMbU8e6E/s400/Bubble-Bath.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5353553316001711650" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hunter in between fevers. Watching "Cars" on his iPhone. Oops, I mean dad's iPhone.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Skuo9_ByHxI/AAAAAAAADLs/z6V2RT6FPvY/s1600-h/Gangster.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 275px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/Skuo9_ByHxI/AAAAAAAADLs/z6V2RT6FPvY/s400/Gangster.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5353558364904365842" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"> Just steals my heart.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SkumdHdTTyI/AAAAAAAADLk/VG0tV4iBkfg/s1600-h/Cutie-Patutie.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 332px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qBiMMRK73Z8/SkumdHdTTyI/AAAAAAAADLk/VG0tV4iBkfg/s400/Cutie-Patutie.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5353555601208332066" /></a>Lenorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09560305324604107601noreply@blogger.com0